NelsonQuest

Why I (Still) Play Videogames Everyday | 37yr Old CEO

Why I (Still) Play Videogames Everyday | 37yr Old CEO

Table of Contents

If you’re someone who enjoys playing video games,  but feels like they’re negatively affecting your personal development – this video will give you a reason to keep playing.

For most of my teenage years, the characters in video games were my only friends, and while that may sound like a negative thing on the surface.

I actually credit them with saving my life, and giving me  me the exact models and archetypes that I’ve used to transform from a weak pathetic loser, into my own character.

From my experience, there is a ‘correct’ way to play video games that can play a massively positive role in our lives – and if you give me just a few short minutes, I’ll show you how.

Early Influences

My VERY first introduction to videogames was around 6 years old.

My friend Tas had a nintendo in his basement and it was there that I discovered  Super Mario 1, 2 and 3, Contra, and my favorite by far – Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Back then, EVERYONE watched the ninja turtles- and EVERYONE had a favorite turtle – which I realize now actually says a LOT about the ideals that we aspire towards when we’re young.

Raphael is brave, fearless, resourceful – the alpha. 

Michelangelo is funny, social, and the center of attention – the joker.

Donatello is mathematical, philosophical, and calculating – the thinker.

And Leonardo – my favorite turtle – is loyal, brave, and responsible – the leader.

Playing the video game allowed me to step into Leo’s shoes in a way that went beyond what I was able to simulate with friends or action figures –

In the video game – I had the beautiful April O’neil and wise Master Splinter to support me as I defeated bad guy after bad guy on the long journey towards defeating the pure evil that was Shredder…

Getting a taste for these things at such a young age and in such a visceral way made the ‘dream’ of one day being able to embody the ‘ideal’ that was Leonardo… so much more real.

How Video Games Saved My Life

Fast forward a bit to when I Was 13 years old and… puberty hit me really hard.

My face was so covered in acne and I was hideous – so at school, nobody wanted to be my friend or even so much as be seen talking to me.

And then at home, I had a father who I was perpetually afraid of.

And so between school and home I  found myself trapped in what seemed like a never-ending cycle of OVERWHELMING anxiety, fear, and depression – and after enduring this for a few years… I started seriously looking at how I could self-delete.

And then – like a gift from God, an older neighbor of mine who was going away to college and wanted to get rid of some stuff, gifted me a game called ‘Chrono Trigger’ for the Super Nintendo –

And with that, I was given a path to escape my pain that I never knew existed.

Thrown into a new world where I gained incredible friendships with a diverse group of individuals as we worked towards a shared goal.

And..for the first time in my life, I felt,  purpose.

Early on in Chrono Trigger, the party learns that thousands of years into the future – the earth will be turned into a virtual wasteland because of the inevitable arrival of an inter-planetary parasite named Lavos.

This fate has no IMMEDIATE bearing on their lives… saving the future won’t affect them here in the present…

So why do it? Why risk their lives, incurring unbelievable physical and emotional hardships in the process – to protect a future disaster that is thousands of years away?

Here I am all of these years later, and with each passing year, I more and more understand my OWN purpose as being to fight to protect a future that I will never live to see –

Is that a coincidence? I don’t think so.

Chrono Trigger for me was the light in a life that was otherwise mostly darkness – I got each of the games 13 possible endings –

And despite all of the pain and sadness I was experiencing in my ‘real life’ – it was because of these games that I remember the years that followed as some of my happiest.

Next came Final Fantasy 7 for playstation 1 – my favorite RPG of all time.

Cloud – the game’s main character suffers from a case of mistaken identity.

He believes himself to be a legendary soldier – and then midway through the game comes to realize that the legendary soldier he BELIEVED himself to be, was actually someone else.

Someone that Cloud.. A failed soldier… looked up to and idolized.

Yet the BELIEF that he WAS this legendary soldier allowed him to accomplish incredible things… how?

In the book “psycho-cybernetics” – Maxwell Maltz states that.

“Our self-image and our habits tend to go together. Change one and you will automatically change the other.”

How often do we prioritize the creation or changing of our own habits – without consideration towards our self-image?

In my experience – to develop the habit of meditation – I had to actually SEE myself as someone who meditates – instead of seeing myself as ‘someone TRYING to meditate’

Later on in Final Fantasy 7 – in what is considered to be one of the most famous events in all of gaming history – one of the main characters – Aeris – with whom I was deeply in love with.

Is murdered… permanently.

I remember crying for about an hour… and getting progressively angrier as  it became clear that Aeris wasn’t coming back.

Cloud’s journey to save the world – and by extension MY journey to save the world – was now a matter of revenge.

Is revenge a ‘bad’ motivation, if the outcome is good?

These are DEEPLY profound questions to consider – that tell us a lot about who we are and what we’re motivated by.

And by the way, no – I don’t think that revenge is necessarily a bad motivation.

I played all of these games on a 10”, portable TV that my parents let me have when they no longer needed it.

It was small, but it weight about 30 pounds and I had to smack it every few minutes to keep it working.

Every weekend when we went to go visit my grandparents or some other family member – i’d bring it with me along with my gaming system, and then I’d just find a corner somewhere with a power outlet, away from everyone else, and I’d sit there and play on the ground…

My parents saw this as anti-social behavior… which admittedly…  it was.. but why is anti-social behavior always considered negative?

Anyway, with each successive game – I came to understand more and more  what it is to actually BE a hero –

The hero never starts out strong – they start out weak – foolish…  lacking confidence in their abilities –

WEAKNESS as it turns out isn’t a ‘bad’ thing… it’s merely a starting point.

Initially, when faced with adversity, the hero fails… time and time again – but they always manage to pick themselves up again, and through persistence, hard work, discipline – and motivated by a purpose FAR GREATER than themselves.

They’re able to transcend the weak pathetic thing that they are, to become that ‘thing’ that they might become…  legendary.

Get the Dark Mode guide

The Dark Mode Guide

is a simple system designed to help you achieve a specific goal by facilitating the development of relevant habits and creating the perfect environment to make failure impossible.

This guide is about actually walking the path. It creates a perfect environment devoid of excuses and forces you to face who you are and what you need to do in a way that’s sustainable.

This is the same exact path that I’ve followed to transcend the weak, foolish, depressed little boy that I once was, into the man I am today.

It’s one thing to hear these things as I’m describing them to you – it’s something else entirely to EXPERIENCE these things, and video games have the potential to simulate this experience in ways that no other medium can.

Shortly after Final Fantasy 7 came Xenogears – a game that drew huge inspiration from famous psycho-analysts like  Sigmund Freud, Carl Jung, and the philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, whose beliefs now form the foundation of my own personal philosophy.

The game’s main character, Fei Fong-Wong, has memories from his childhood which he has repressed because of the pain they represent.

This repressed pain ends up manifesting into a ‘separate’ personality with Fei – named ‘Id’ – one of the game’s strongest enemies!
The idea for this was all rooted in what Carl Jung termed “the Shadow self”.

According to Jung, the ‘Shadow’ – also known as the ‘id’ – is the ‘dark side’ of our personality – it is everything that we  repress or deny about ourselves… our collective unconscious.

Jung believed that through a process he called ‘shadow integration’ – that we could bring this ‘shadow’ side of ourselves INTO our consciousness.

And in doing so, that we could discover an immense HIDDEN power within us… our TRUE potential.

In the exact same way that Fei, through Shadow Integration, was able to defeat Id, and realize that potential in himself.

At the age of 26, when I hit the lowest point in my life and was forced into my own process of shadow integration – where I brought years of repressed pain into my consciousness –

It was there that I gained the ability to channel that pain into power that I have previously thought was impossible.

Anyway guys – when I was a young kid playing these games – I obviously didn’t understand the deeper significance of these themes –

But with the passing of time – I learn more and more how much these themes rootedthemselves into every fiber of who I am and who I continue to aspire to be.

I’ve often heard that we are the average of the people we spend the most time with – well for me that was Leonardo, Chrono, Cloud, Aeris, and Fei Fong Wong –

And that’s a pretty solid fucking group if you ask me.

These days, I still play video games for almost 1 hour every day in the afternoon when I train on my bike –

Which gives me *massive* motivation to train, while also allowing me to escape into a fantasy world that still nurtures my personal development –

When I’m done playing – even though I’ve just exercised – I feel rested and ready to get back to work.

More recently I’ve really enjoyed games like Breath of the Wild, Persona 5: Royal, and FF7 Remake.

My general suggestion here is that if you’re looking to continue playing video games while maintaining high productivity – stay away from games that don’t have endings.

And stick to games that have rich stories and interesting characters.

This is a really ‘personal’ video for me – if you guys would like me to make more videos like this, please give a like and let me know in the comments below.

If you want to see what games I’m playing next you can check me out on Instagram @nelsonquest.

Stay
Updated!

Subscribe to e-mails

Join 100k+ others and receive weekly tools, tips, and secret resources directly from Nelson.

Related Articles

All Articles
PlayEveryday2
SelfHelp2
PickupLine1
See all

Why Self Improvement = Endless Procrastination

Why Self Improvement = Endless Procrastination

Table of Contents

‘Self-improvement’ is a great idea – I mean who doesn’t want to feel better, learn new skills , advance in their careers, and look as good as god damn handsome I do –

But if we can just take a step back for a second and look with our own eyes at the territory that surrounds us, we can clearly see that this good idea is an absolutely disastrous reality.

A rapidly expanding multi-billion dollar industry marked by masses of people who are no more capable of improving themselves than they were before they devoured their first self-help book or walked bare-foot over flaming coals. 

We know who these people are because they’re all over our social networks – frantically seeking external validation for the IDEA of an improved version of themselves that doesn’t really exist.

In this video I’ll show you EXACTLY why self-improvement has become such a breeding ground for self-delusion.

And more importantly, the 3 critical lessons that anyone seeking AUTHENTIC personal development need to understand.

Let’s begin.

Lesson 1: Understanding Why We Are So Dependent on The External

The most important thing to understand when it comes to WHY the overwhelming majority of people who embark down the path of self-improvement don’t actually improve can be boiled down to a single word: Assgoblins.

For some reason everyone thinks that’s two words, but I can assure you it’s one.

Just kidding. The actual word is profit.

To illustrate this point – I’m going to share with you guys a fun thought experiment that I designed a few years ago.

I’m going to describe two types of people and as I do that, I want you to consider for yourself which one you think is more “profitable”.

Person A is gullible, weak, impulsive, and unhealthy –  all of which are beyond their control and can only be remedied via external means such as products, services, and medications – or whatever promises the quickest fix.

Person A believes that everything is either ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and as such, they believe that struggle, discomfort… and even human emotions such as sadness, loneliness, and rage, all belong in the ‘bad’ basket – which must be avoided at all cost.

Now let’s consider Person B-

Person B is informed, strong, resourceful and healthy – all of which they are in control of.

They fix problems by addressing their underlying root causes.

They see ‘good’ and ‘bad’ as two halves of the same whole and as such, they perceive struggle, discomfort, sadness, loneliness, and rage as necessary and important parts of the human experience.

Now I know this is going to blow some of your minds, but Person A is more profitable to society. Far more profitable.

Can you imagine, just for a second, what a disaster it would be for industries around the world if everyone was like Person B?

The reason there are 99 of Person A for every 1 Person B is because we EXIST within societies, where profit is the highest goal –

And so the system is designed and continues to evolve to become more and more efficient at getting us to consume, which ironically, is the process by which WE are consumed.

This is why when it comes to our own personal development.

We don’t ponder the deep questions of life by ourselves – we ask Google.

We don’t spend time alone with ourselves (which is where actual growth happens) because we’re afraid to be alone.

We fill our every waking moment with some external form of distraction because to us, being alone carries with it the risk of possibly having to confront those thoughts and emotions that reside deep within our internal world –

The system programs us to fear our internal world because there’s no profit there.

The ‘industry’ of self-improvement only cares about profit – and for every 1 person that truly understands the complex psychological mechanisms behind authentic personal development, there are 99 good looking, charismatic, self-help zealots with relatable rags to riches stories who will happily forego the difficult required to have original thought.

And instead choose to recycle the same tried and true, superficial self-help ideologies that are guaranteed to generate garner massive praise (and subsequently revenue) from the masses of consumers desperately seeking to confirm an interpretation self-improvement that allows them to develop confidence, learn to love-themselves, and become action-takers, without doing ANY of the actual work required to earn those things.

Lesson 2: The Dark Paradox Of Self-Improvement

Ok so what exactly happens when we manifest this IDEA of self-improvement – when we try to become our best versions – WITHIN a system whose primary goal is profit?

Well for most of us, the process looks something like this:

We spend most of our lives just sort of following the ‘script’ that’s been laid out for us.

We go to school, make friends, work 9-5 jobs – and then at some point we have a ‘revelation’ that we don’t have to follow someone else’s script – that by taking control of our actions we can actually take control of our destiny.

This revelation manifests itself as a desire to improve… and that’s precisely where the problem begins.

Because at this point the overwhelming majority of us don’t do what we should do – which is to descend into silence for a while as we begin to exercise this newly discovered control by taking more and more action based on what we inherently know to be best for us.

No, instead, the second we experience that first flicker of a desire to improve, we immediately cast the nets of our consciousness out into the external world.

Because a lifetime of programming has conditioned us to ALWAYS look to the external world for the solution to everything.

Motivational social media posts designed to externally validate a version of ourselves that doesn’t actually exist.

Books and books and more books, fully believing that the next sentence we read will contain within it the sacred knowledge that will finally unlock within us the ability to suddenly take infinite, effortless action.

And so the great paradox of self-improvement is that it promotes EXTERNAL solutions to problems that can ONLY be solved internally.

To me the most glaring example of this is how so many people try to think themselves into taking action… which is completely absurd.

It is IMPOSSIBLE to think ourselves into taking action. Action by its very nature requires us to stop contemplating it in order to take it.

Get the Dark Mode guide

The Dark Mode Guide

is a simple system designed to help you achieve a specific goal by facilitating the development of relevant habits and creating the perfect environment to make failure impossible.

This guide is about actually walking the path. It creates a perfect environment devoid of excuses and forces you to face who you are and what you need to do in a way that’s sustainable.

Lesson 3: The Financial Contradiction Of Self-Improvement

The industry of self-help depends on us consuming its content to generate revenue.

But what happens if we actually apply the teachings and ‘become our best versions’…

Well, what happens is that we no longer need self-help content, and revenue is no longer generated…  and that’s not good.

Sure, they could just find new customers, but if you know anything about customer acquisition costs (and I promise you, the industry knows a thing or two about this), it’s much more profitable to maintain a customer than it is to acquire a new one.

While I would never accuse any individual ‘teacher’ of self-help guru of intentionally sabotaging the people who consume their content, the problem with when you create a financial motivation that runs counter to your own self-proclaimed motivations… well you can see how this might be a problem, right?

There is very little profit to be made on someone who improves to the point where there are few things left to improve.

Conclusion

Alright guys, so here’s my take on all of this and how to escape the trap of an ‘industry’ of self-help that is designed to consume us.

True personal development must begin with a deeply internal process through which the ability to act on the information we consume externally is first established by repeatedly taking action on things – over and over again, until it replaces our old defective programming and becomes our new ‘default’ state.

This is an absolutely CRITICAL first step because if action is not effortless – if it is not instinctual, then we are DOOMED to consume information without applying it, which is EXACTLY what the system wants.

To consume information and to take action on the information that we consume are two ENTIRELY SEPARATE UNIVERSES, because ACTION is PRECISELY THE THING separating us from who we presently are, and who we could be.

There is no book, no podcast, no seminar, no motivational guru, no YouTube video, no magical assgoblin, that can confer this knowledge onto us.

To know the path is not to walk the path. To walk the path is to know the path.

Stay
Updated!

Subscribe to e-mails

Join 100k+ others and receive weekly tools, tips, and secret resources directly from Nelson.

Related Articles

All Articles
PlayEveryday2
SelfHelp2
PickupLine1
See all

How to Actually Be Attractive

How to Actually Be Attractive

Table of Contents

The ability to walk up to a woman and engage them confidently in effortless conversation is one of the most difficult abilities to develop as a man – it was definitely always very difficult for me.

Which is why I, like so many other men, have found themselves drawn towards the art of seduction, aka the ‘pickup’ community.

And here’s the thing – Seduction techniques WORK, 1000% they work, because they’re rooted in REAL authentic qualities that are actually DEEPLY attractive to women.

But the problem, which most men FAIL to understand, is that they do not INSTILL those authentic qualities – instead, they merely SIMULATE them –

Which is why in this video, I’m going to show you EXACTLY how to develop the top 3 attractive male qualities in a way that is NATURAL AND effortless… instead of having to rely on cheap tricks and imitations like most men do.

Let’s begin.

1. Be Confident (Instead of Acting Confident)

As someone who went from lacking in confidence to overflowing with it – I swear to you on everything that is holy that there is no more attractive quality in a man.

Women can smell confidence in man in the same way that sharks can smell blood in the water.

So it’s not surprising that “How to be more confident” is one of the most searched topics for men.

But here’s the thing – although there are countless videos and coaches that will teach us how to PROJECT confidence –

Stand up straight and with your chest out – maintain eye contact – dress to impress.

When we lack confidence in any of these areas, that actually indicates a lack of AUTHENTICAL confidence… because when we are AUTHENTICALLY confident, we do all of those things naturally!

And this is where ‘pickup’ has corrupted the brains of so many men – confidence isn’t something that we’re meant to ‘learn’ about by watching youtube videos or reading books –

Confidence is something we EARN by succeeding in most, or ideally all of the areas where other men fail.

Building an impressive physical body through hard training and disciplined nutrition.

Working tirelessly  within our chosen career or profession and achieving financial success.

Learning how to express our unique essence through impressive skills.

Developing the mental fortitude that comes with taking full responsibility for our respective lots in life –

And so once we’ve done all of these things and actually EARNED confidence – our entire ENERGY changes.

THIS is true confidence – it’s an energy that we can literally SEE in other men – the assurance in their postures – the confidence in their smiles – the CERTAINTY in their eyes!

With earned confidence, the very act of approaching a woman transforms from something like ‘oh man, I hope this girl doesn’t reject me’ to ‘this girl would be lucky to have me’., and even if we get  rejected, it’s their loss.

With authentic confidence, we don’t need to memorize corny openers or pickup lines, because we can literally say ANYTHING and it will be attractive.

And so my point here is that, it is absurd to spend time and energy towards learning how to merely mimic, or simulate confidence.

When we could spend that SAME time and energy earning AUTHENTIC confidence by working hard to SUCCEED within our physical, occupational, expressive, and mental dimensions.

2. Be Intellectually Curious (Instead of just being good at listening)

Many seduction experts emphasize the importance of listening to women, which, like all seduction techniques, IS rooted in something very real.

A woman, like all people, LIKES  to be listened to, especially by men, who are often so eager to demonstrate value that they end up dominating the conversation.

And so, in a world where most people just want to talk about themselves, to simply ‘listen’ is as rare as it is refreshing, and so yeah… definitely a very attractive quality.

Pickup communities emphasize ‘listening’ to women, usually by urging us to pretend to be interested in what they are saying while also asking them lots of questions about themselves.

But what we should ACTUALLY be doing – is to simply take a GENUINE CURIOSITY in the woman we are talking to.

In his book “12 rules for life” – Jordan Peterson’s 9th rule is to “Assume that the person you are listening to might know something you don’t”

I love this rule, because it FORCES to re-evaluate the true ‘value’ that we get out of conversations, and what ends up happening is that we realize that the opportunity to POSSIBLY learn something that we don’t already know, is actually far more valuable, and thus preferable, to merely using conversations to assert our own viewpoints.

So to expend energy towards trying to become a ‘good listener’ , or worse, PRETENDING to be a good listener, is a COMPLETE WASTE of time when we can instead simply  take an authentic curiosity in what women have to say.

After all…  being intellectually curious IS a critically important part of the path we are on.

Get the Dark Mode guide

The Dark Mode Guide

is a simple system designed to help you achieve a specific goal by facilitating the development of relevant habits and creating the perfect environment to make failure impossible.

This guide is about actually walking the path. It creates a perfect environment devoid of excuses and forces you to face who you are and what you need to do in a way that’s sustainable.

3. Be Complete (Instead of Being Less Needy)

A lot of focus within pickup communities is placed on how to avoid appearing ‘needy’ or ‘clingy’ – which are easily two of the most UNATTRACTIVE male qualities.

The majority of pickup artists encourage things like waiting a certain amount of time before responding to messages (usually anywhere from 20 minutes to an entire day)

Or what sort of language to include or avoid when responding to give the appearance of a man who has a lot going on in their life –

But again… why waste time and energy focusing on cheap imitations and simulations, when we can instead go straight to the root!

To be AUTHENTICALLY attractive in this regard is simple – just focus on ACTUALLY having a lot of sh*t going on in our lives.

If we’re busy working on an important skill or business project, of COURSE we’re not going to be respond to messages right away.

And when we consistently, day in and day out, are making progress towards the realization of our IDEAL selves…

Then of COURSE we don’t have to worry about manifesting ‘needy’ behavior – because we don’t ‘need’ a woman to make us complete – we already take full responsibility for making OURSELVES complete –

And at that point, what we’re looking for is not a woman who ‘completes’ us, but rather to find a relationship where both people complement each other.

My Opinion

I think what I really want to say with this video is that the all-to-common  male belief that sleeping with lots of attractive women can bring happiness… is the recipe for a highly unfulfilling life.

I’m going to share a secret with you guys that I’ve personally observed first hand:

Yeah, sex will pretty much always feel good – even moreso when it’s with an attractive woman –

But for the few men who actually do reach a level where having sex with attractive women becomes possible – they end up choosing one of two paths.

Path #1

Some men realize how ultimately pathetic and unfilling it is to pursue meaningless sex forever, and instead choose to pursue something deeper and more profound.

or

Path #2:

Some men, blinded by the undeniable allure of hedonistic desires, pursue this path at the cost of everything else.

Listen, I think it’s ‘good’ for men to be attracted to pickup – because it’s natural for us to be drawn to things that promise to help us become more attractive.

What’s not good, is spending our precious energy and limited time towards simulating attractiveness, instead of authentically becoming it.

Don’t try to ‘cheat’ the game in the pursuit of an easier path – instead, understand the rules better and learn how to move effortlessly within them.

Stay
Updated!

Subscribe to e-mails

Join 100k+ others and receive weekly tools, tips, and secret resources directly from Nelson.

Related Articles

All Articles
PlayEveryday2
SelfHelp2
PickupLine1
See all

The 3 Mistakes That Make NOFAP Deadly

The 3 Mistakes That Make NOFAP Deadly

Table of Contents

It’s been a few years now since NOFAP gained massive popularity –

And while it’s my belief and experience that when used properly, it CAN be a MAJOR catalyst towards positive life change.

It still seems to me that the VAST of people who are drawn to NOFAP –  I’m talking 99+ percent…  seem to have no idea what they’re ACTUALLY trying to accomplish.

Sure, we’ve heard about all the amazing benefits like increased confidence, motivation, and focus…

And a quick search on YouTube will turn up hundreds of young men screaming from mountain tops proclaiming that NOFAP has dramatically changed their lives.

But the thing is, life-changing improvements do not come from simply NOT masturbating.

And, NOFAP should never be practiced without first understanding what I’m about to explain in this video.

So whether whether you have practiced NOFAP, are practicing it, or are considering practicing it.

PLEASE make sure you understand these 3 things. Let’s dive in.

1. The TRUE goal of NoFAP

If you feel yourself drawn to NOFAP.

The ROOT problem is NOT excessive masturbation or porn.

The ROOT problem is that you’re you’re unhappy with your life.

People that are happy with their lives couldn’t care less about NOFAP –

But if you’re UNHAPPY with your life, you’re probably MOST unhappy in those moments where you’re laying in bed…

Staring down at the penis vomit that now covers your flabby, out of shape midsection.

Having just masturbated to a woman that would probably never find you attractive.

Knowing that, instead of doing the things that you SHOULD be doing to make yourself more attractive –

Working out – developing talents – finding success in your chosen career or occupation.

That Instead – you’re just masturbating your pathetic life away. I think we’ve all been there at some point.

So if we’re drawn to NOFAP – it’s ALWAYS going to be because there’s something about our life that we’re not happy with,

And so we should start there – and consider everything we’re not happy about – and why we believe NOFAP can help us,

Because NOFAP is NOT a magic pill – it’s a tool and as with all tools, we can either use it the right way, or use it the wrong way… which brings us to.

2. The Difference between Healthy and Unhealthy NoFAP

The most alarming aspect of NOFAP to me, Is how few men are actually taking a personal inventory of themselves before they decide to do it.

As I mentioned earlier – the ROOT problem  isn’t ‘porn’ or ‘masturbation’ … The problem is that something is wrong with your life  – so START there!

What exactly is wrong with your life? Take some time to fully consider this.

If you believe that porn or masturbation are contributors to whatever is wrong…

Well, ok – that’s probably a GREAT step in the right direction… but don’t just stop there…

Take.. at LEAST…  I don’t know… 15 MINUTES…  maybe even a few HOURS or DAYS even to consider all of the reasons WHY you believe these things to be problems.

Take out a piece of paper and list out all of the pro’s and con’s that you associate with these things.

Work to have as COMPLETE an understanding as possible.

After you’ve weighed the pros and cons and have decided that YES, porn and masturbation are negatively affecting your life.

Then, if you’re going to remove those things from your life –  then what sort of benefits are you expecting?

Take some time to list those out as well, and work to fully understand WHY you believe you will experience those benefits.

The important thing to understand here is that if you’re going to do something like NOFAP.

Don’t just do it because some guy on the internet said he did NOFAP for 3 weeks and is proclaiming that he can now see through walls.

Instead, work to have as COMPLETE an understanding as possible.

Men who do NOFAP without first considering all of this often end up using NOFAP in a way that results in unhealthy sexual repression.

If you’re not careful, you can end up in a worse position than when you started.

Angry and resentful of ALL females for… being unable to SEE how… DESERVING you are of them, when in REALITY is that you’re entirely undeserving because you’ve never done the difficult work required to increase ones value.

Now on the other hand, if you have spent adequate time working towards a profound understanding of WHY you’re doing NOFAP.

Then you end up doing NOFAP because you see it as a tool that you can use to promote HEALTHY self-restraint and self-control on the path towards your IDEAL self, then…

Get the Dark Mode guide

The Dark Mode Guide

is a simple system designed to help you achieve a specific goal by facilitating the development of relevant habits and creating the perfect environment to make failure impossible.

This guide is about actually walking the path. It creates a perfect environment devoid of excuses and forces you to face who you are and what you need to do in a way that’s sustainable.

3. NOFAP is a tool that we can use to control sexual desire

One of the greatest challenges… perhaps THE greatest challenge ANY man seeking to master himself, is learning how to control his own sexual impulses.

Our instinct towards sex is our most primordial and POWERFUL instinct – that COMPELS us to try to f*ck EVERYTHING that we’re even somewhat attracted to –

For many men, this instinct guides EVERY single thing that they do – and they’re usually not conscious to the full extent that this is happening.

Looking back on my younger years – I’ve realized that, with  LITERALLY every single thing that I did to improve myself – everything from starting a business to what car I drove to learning salsa – it was all INITIALLY  just rooted in my desire to sleep with attractive women.

And that’s NOT a bad goal to have INITIALLY – but as we mature, IDEALLY we ought to learn how to control that sexual energy so that we can channel the full power of it…

This is how I gained INCREDIBLE power in my life.

I mean – just imagine for a second if you could take all of your sexual energy and direct it towards the things that YOU decided were important –

If we’re going to master ourselves – then it goes without saying that we have to master our instincts –

If you enjoyed the video and can appreciate how hard we’re working on these, please take a single moment before you go off and jerk yourself silly to give it a like, maybe share it with a friend who could benefit from it.

NOFAP can be a powerful tool… … But it can also be a completely misguided tumble into unhealthy sexual repression.

If you want to learn more about how to channel sexual energy, check out my YouTube Channel –

Follow me on my journey on Instagram @nelsonquest.

This is the path –

Stay
Updated!

Subscribe to e-mails

Join 100k+ others and receive weekly tools, tips, and secret resources directly from Nelson.

Related Articles

All Articles
PlayEveryday2
SelfHelp2
PickupLine1
See all

Porn vs. Personal Development (The Battle of Dopamine)

Porn vs. Personal Development (The Battle of Dopamine)

Table of Contents

So you’re laying in bed – scrolling through instagram – knowing that you should probably be doing something more productive – 

… and then you see a little bit of delicious flesh.

Maybe it’s a sexy bikini photo.. Or maybe it’s just a little unintentional… well, let’s be honest – Very intentional side-boob.

Suddenly, you feel a little tingling down under – and you know what you have to do.

Now, you could just take care of business here on instagram –

But instead, that little  voice in your brain DEMANDS of you that you immediately detour to your favorite porn site while the rest of the world seems to just fade away.

You come back to your senses a short while later, now covered in your own mess and feeling disgusted by what little self control you have.

You suddenly remember all of the things you should be doing… how far you are behind in life…

And how powerless you seem to be to change any of it.

If this sounds familiar – don’t worry – it’s something that pretty much all of us can relate to.

But… why?

Why is it that ESPECIALLY with porn – the more that we consume, the more it feels like we’re… being consumed?

Is lack of discipline the problem?… Partly.

But the main problem is actually what’s happening on a neurological level

How our body’s reward system, and more specifically DOPAMINE, gets HIJACKED more and more when we consume porn.

In this video, I’ll break down EXACTLY what’s going on, so that we can reclaim our dopamine system and INSTEAD use it to accomplish our goals.

I promise that by the end of this video,  you will NEVER watch porn in the same way.

Heck, you may even never watch porn again.

Let’s dive in.

Dopamine isn’t just the ‘feel good’ chemical - it’s what MOTIVATES us to do things that result in a reward

Most people understand dopamine as something that our bodies release to make us ‘feel good’ in response to some sort of reward.

And yes, our bodies release dopamine when we see we’ve got new likes on that photo we just posted – when we learn something useful -when we log onto YouTube to see that NelsonQuest has just uploaded a new video – and of course, when we orgasm.

But dopamine isn’t just released when we GET the reward – heck that isn’t even it’s main purpose.

The PRIMARY responsibility of Dopamine is to MOTIVATE us towards rewards.

Dopamine is the thing that MOTIVATES us to grab our cell phone and open instagram so that we can upload that photo to instagram,

Just as it’s the thing that MOTIVATES us to go to our favorite porn site in search of that orgasm.

Dopamine is literally the thing that motivates us to do ANYTHING – even the most basic of things.

Like motivating us to get off the couch and pour ourselves a glass of water when we’re thirsty.

If we like the feeling of being in shape- dopamine gets released to motivate us to go to the gym.

And when we feel sexually aroused – Dopamine is released to MOTIVATE us to pick up our cell phone and start fapping.

Porn Creates A Massive Overload of Dopamine

Unfortunately, our bodies can’t distinguish between the rewards that IMPROVE our lives, and the rewards that don’t.

They instead simply PRIORITIZE the rewards that cause the biggest dopamine release… and guess what –

Porn can cause our dopamine levels to raise over 200% for what’s normal! Just a little bit less than cocaine!

Here are the two big reasons why:

1. The ‘Coolidge’ Effect

When a male rat is placed in a cage with a female – at first they have lots of sex – but over time the male rat gets less and less excited –

meaning less sex and a longer amount of time to orgasm. 

But when a NEW female is placed into the cage – the male becomes excited again and lots of sex ensues – but again over time, the rat begins to get less excited until yet ANOTHER new patner is introduced.

This process can be repeated again and again with new females partners –

This is what’s referred to as the Coolidge Effect – which is present in ALL humans… even females… but that’s a topic for another day.

With porn we’re like a lab rat with nearly infinite access to new partners – all we need to do is click onto a new video or explore a new category of porn –

Which is ALSO why… while we may start out watching more innocent porn… like… two people having sex with each other.

That can QUICKLY escalate to interracial midget gangbangs. 

The more porn that we consume, the more it becomes ‘normalized’ – and the harder it is for us to find porn that gives us that sensation of feeling ‘new’.

Which is how we end up spending more time trying to find the ‘perfect porn’ than we spend on Netflix trying to find that perfect thing to watch.

2. Porn is a ‘Supernormal Stimuli’

Supernormal stimuli are essentially artificially exaggerated versions of normal stimuli that we perceive as more valuable –

The term was coined by Nobel Prize winning ethologist Nikolaas Tinbergen –

Who observed that male stickleback fish that would attack a WOODEN fish model more aggressively if the wooden model had an underside that was redder than a real male.

And that fake cardboard butterflies with more defined markings were more likely to attract males than REAL female butterflies with less defined markings.

So maybe you’re asking… What exactly  do stickleback fish and butterflies have to do with humans?

Well according to Harvard psychologist Deirdre Barret, in her book ‘Supernormal Stimuli: How Primal Urges Overran Their Evolutionary Purpose’. She argues that the link is actually much closer than we realize – 

She shows how ‘supernormal stimuli’ like junk food, tv, video games, the internet, and of course, pornography – can easily hijack our brains.

Consider this – In the 80’s – where Hugh Hefner and his Playboy centerfolds reigned supreme –

Porn was essentially just limited to static images… not a big problem.

But fast forward to today, and porn is now LOADED with supernormal stimulation.

Endless waves of free, instantly accessible, high definition videos featuring women with watermelon sized fake breasts and men with horse sized penises,

groaning and screaming in exaggerated ways as they engage in utterly unrealistic “casual sex” within the context of some fantasy scenario like “the horny librarian”, or “the lucky pizza man.”

These heavily exagerrated representations take sex from being a ‘normal’ stimulus, and turn it into a ‘supernormal stimulus’.

Resulting in a MASSIVE dopamine dump that is EXPONENTIALLY exacerbated by the fact that we don’t have to reach further than our own pockets to experience it.

Get the Dark Mode guide

The Dark Mode Guide

is a simple system designed to help you achieve a specific goal by facilitating the development of relevant habits and creating the perfect environment to make failure impossible.

This guide is about actually walking the path. It creates a perfect environment devoid of excuses and forces you to face who you are and what you need to do in a way that’s sustainable.

How Negative Dopamine Pathways Develop When We Consume Too Much Porn

When we consume porn – we’re triggering dopamine release along a specific neural pathway.

And the more porn that we consume, the more our brains are ‘reprogrammed’ to seek out more porn without us even having to think much about it.

In other words – it becomes more and more automatic.

Studies have shown that this can be particularly damaging within teenagers – whose brains are at ‘peak’ dopamine production and levels of neuroplasticity –

Which means that they are MUCH more vulnerable to forming porn addictions…

So young people… be PARTICULARLY careful! 

Ok – so now for the good news 🙂

The way that brain neuroplasticity works is essentially ‘use it or lose it’.

If we can break the habit of watching porn  (which is of course more difficult and will require more discipline to break based on our level of addiction).

Over time, our brains will return to a healthy baseline where we no longer experience a  massive rush of dopamine motivating us to consume porn whenever we’re sexually aroused.

Conclusion

So me personally – knowing what I know now and having experienced a lot of these negative side effects myself –

I RARELY consume porn – and on the rare occasions where I do – I just stick to the ‘normal’ stuff 🙂

Keeping my consumption to a bare minimum – combined with eating healthy, restricting my social network usage and avoiding  ‘dopamine driven’ video games like call of duty – 

IS literally the reason that I have so much motivation to do so many things that improve my life –

If you’re interested in dopamine and how to use it the right way – make sure to also check out my YT Channel.

If you want to see how I apply everything I talk about in my videos firsthand –

Then make sure to also check me out on Instagram @nelsonquest

Stay
Updated!

Subscribe to e-mails

Join 100k+ others and receive weekly tools, tips, and secret resources directly from Nelson.

Related Articles

All Articles
PlayEveryday2
SelfHelp2
PickupLine1
See all

The 4 Things Every ‘God-Tier’ Mentor Has in Common

The 4 Things Every 'God-Tier' Mentor Has in Common

Table of Contents

A good mentor, coach or more broadly speaking ‘teachert can literally be the difference between whether we fail to learn something or whether we develop an intense passion for it. Over the past few years in particular I’ve learned from hundreds of different teachers as I’ve sought to reach mastery levels within business, personal development, spirituality, salsa, boxing, overall health and nutrition, and that’s just naming a few things. Good teachers are rare… legendary teachers are like unicorns… and bad teachers, well, bad teachers are everywhere: classrooms, books, social media, YouTube, and here’s the thing: learning from a bad teacher could irrevocably damage our lives. Some of them may just drain our bank accounts without imparting any real value, while others can actually lead us off of our paths entirely, where we can spend months, years, possibly, even our entire lives having never discovered our true essence or potential. 

Nowhere is this more true than within the self-improvement industry, where most mentors, coaches and again, broadly speaking, teachers, literally don’t know the first thing about true personal development, what they do know is how to promote the same toxic positivity and momentary motivation strategies that only end up creating a false sense of improvement, which is why when you look at the broad population of people who are trying to improve themselves most of them are just like zombies all repeating the same things but with no actual Improvement to show. For all of their supposed efforts this is the illusion of improvement and it originates in bad teachers. In this video I’ll show you the four qualities that all legendary teachers have in common, so that you can separate the good from the bad to cultivate true learning and passion in everything that you do and maybe one day even become a legendary teacher yourself. Let’s begin.

Number one: they've already excelled at what they're teaching.

The most dangerous teachers are the ones who teach entirely from textbooks or from what they’ve read or seen online, because these teachers exist only within the world of theory. Trust me when I tell you that the reality of something is very different than the idea of it. You can’t be a good millionaire mindset coach if you haven’t already earned a million dollars, you can’t be a good business coach if you haven’t ever built a successful business, you can’t be a good Fitness coach if you yourself aren’t in great shape, so while bad teachers in these areas may have read tons of books or even have college degrees they’re missing the key ingredient which is how to actually translate that knowledge into reality. When we read, the best that we can hope for is to memorize, to truly learn something is to take it from the world of theory into successfully manifest it within reality.

To know the path is not to walk the path, to walk the path is to know the path. Unfortunately many people choose to teach as a way to seek validation for being good at something without actually being good at that thing, and if this sounds like you, please don’t feel bad. When I first started my personal development journey I would post all sorts of motivational quotes on all my social networks, I would give my friends advice on how to be successful that they never asked me for because I was trying to externally validate the idea that I was successful instead of just doing the difficult work required to actually become successful. Good teachers have already done the thing that we’re seeking to learn and the higher their level the more they’re able to see with clarity what lesser teachers are simply unable to see.

Number two: they love to teach.

For the longest time I hated dancing salsa. I knew that I wanted to learn how to dance but lacing up my Salsa shoes felt like a death sentence. Most of my teachers hated teaching, I imagine because they mostly taught the same steps over and over to the sandal wearing foreigners who smell like sweaty cow. Most of these teachers only taught me how to memorize steps, which is not only boring but it doesn’t make you a better dancer. I wasn’t seeing any progress from which to feel motivated and so I struggled to take classes with any sort of consistency… but then I found teachers like Daniela and Maira, who not only love salsa but also love teaching, they celebrated every little Improvement that I made, while also giving me enough room to safely fail and try again over and over and over.

They taught me how to move my body with the music, how to express myself through movement, which was the result I was pursuing in the first place, and in doing so they helped me to love the journey of salsa, which is the most important thing when it comes to not giving up something that anyone can force themselves to do something for a brief period of time in the pursuit of a specific result, but unless we love the actual journey of the thing it’s not likely that we’ll ever make it to see the destination and this is why it is so critical that we learn from people who love what they’re teaching, because their love of process is contagious through them we can vicariously develop a similar love of process, even if we haven’t yet tasted the sweet reward of what’s waiting for us at the finish line.

Get the Dark Mode guide

The Dark Mode Guide

is a simple system designed to help you achieve a specific goal by facilitating the development of relevant habits and creating the perfect environment to make failure impossible.

This guide is about actually walking the path. It creates a perfect environment devoid of excuses and forces you to face who you are and what you need to do in a way that’s sustainable.

Number three: they push us to be uncomfortable.

Most teachers will just talk and talk and talk as if their words are somehow translating into knowledge. They try to make the experience of learning easy, providing answers instead of using questions to provoke critical thinking. Learning should be uncomfortable, here’s why: we only learn through application, when we are taught by a teacher, teaches a book or a video and then we apply those teachings we’re always going to feel uncomfortable initially, since we have no experience doing that thing, then over time, the more that we apply those teachings, the more comfortable we begin to feel because we become good at those things, but unless we want to remain at the same level we need to continually push ourselves to apply new information to try out new techniques to once again be uncomfortable. To repeat this process over and over is to move towards mastery and a good teacher will thus teach us in a way where they’re constantly pushing us to always exist within the uncomfortable frontiers of our limits.

Number four: they help us discover our Unique style.

Early on, a teacher who is still learning who we are, will teach us their style, which is perfectly fine and normal. This is actually just one of the many ways that our teacher can begin to observe our tendencies, predispositions and our overall essence, but as we develop the job of the teacher is to help us find our own unique path our own unique style, instead of always just imposing themselves on us. Now, there are nuances here in boxing, in salsa, for example there are certain fundamentals that we need to first learn how to rotate the body, to generate power in our punches, how to maintain our gaze on a fixed position to properly execute a spin, but when it comes to style which has a lot less to do with fundamentals and a lot more to do with how our essence translates into our actions.

A bad teacher will demand that we do these things according to their style, while a good teacher will help us to discover our own unique style. Now, style is not specific to physical activities like salsa and boxing, it is universal, it is a manifestation of our essence with whatever thing that we’re doing. Within business and self-development there are, of course, fundamentals as well. We should learn how to love the process, we should learn how to seek discomfort as we move towards mastering, but a good teacher will help us to establish these fundamentals in everything that we do, as a platform that we can then use to reach our potential, while a bad teacher will try to guide our growth even after that platform has been established.

Stay
Updated!

Subscribe to e-mails

Join 100k+ others and receive weekly tools, tips, and secret resources directly from Nelson.

Related Articles

All Articles
PlayEveryday2
SelfHelp2
PickupLine1
See all

3 Tricks Modern Videogames Use to Create Addiction

3 Tricks Modern Videogames Use to Create Addiction

Table of Contents

I have a weird relationship with video games –

On the one hand, they’ve given me a deeper understanding of complex themes like friendship, love, and purpose, as well as unique insights into many of the  models and archetypes that have largely shaped who I am today.

On the other hand – there have been many times… TOO many times… where instead of advancing my life or career – I was farming virtual gold until 5 in the morning.

Video game addiction is now such a massive global problem that in 2019, the W.H.O officially added a new disorder to its list:

“Gaming Disorder”…  which is roughly summarized as “an impaired control and over-prioritization of gaming despite the occurrence of negative consequences”

And while we most often think of people with ‘gaming disorders’ as overweight neckbeards still living in their parents basements.

The “real” gaming addicts are actually just normal, everyday people – mostly in their 20’s and 30’s –  who have become involuntarily enslaved to an artificial stimulus that is designed to keep us addicted.

In this article I’ll be focusing EXCLUSIVELY  on the negative aspects of video games, and what makes them so uniquely addicting in an age of endless distractions.

#1: Our Reward System Loves Instant Gratification

Most people mistake  “dopamine” as  something that makes us ‘feel good’.

In reality, dopamine is actually responsible for motivating us to take action in  anticipation of the thing that makes us feel good… “the reward”

When we feel the urge to play video games,  dopamine is actually  the thing that MOTIVATES us to pick up the controller –

Now the problem with dopamine is that it doesn’t distinguish between ‘good rewards, which are usually ‘long term’ in nature –  and ‘bad rewards’ which are normally ‘short term’ or ‘instat’ ’ in nature – neurologically, they’re both just “rewards.”

And so when presented with the choice of getting an INSTANT reward by playing video games, or working towards a long-term reward by training our bodies or building a business…

Well, this is why it’s so RIDICULOUSLY easy to prioritize gaming over studying –

Trying to manage video game play time is like buying a pack of oreos and intending to just eat one a day… good fucking luck.

As long as our video games are accessible within our immediate environment –   It takes  a TREMENDOUS amount of conscious energy and discipline to be able to effectively manage how much we play.

And to make matters worse – there’s almost 0 friction to go from the ‘idea’ of playing video games, to ‘actually’ playing them.

My Playstation 5 now loads up so fast that from the moment that I have the ‘idea’ to play Spiderman – I can be playing within a few seconds.

…I can open up Candy Crush on my phone just as quickly as I can open up Instagram.

#2: Video Games are Supernormal Stimuli

In call of Duty.. We’re a highly trained soldier…

hunting down terrorists and expertly maneuvering around obstacles while executing strategies with our teammates –

In reality… we’re just pushing buttons on a controller.

This is a great example of how videogames are a “Supernormal Stimuli” – let me explain.

All living creatures have built-in programming to react instinctively to  certain stimuli –

A supernormal stimulus is an artificially exaggerated version of a normal stimuli, that produces a GREATER response.

An example of this is junk food, which is an artificially exaggerated stimulus of REAL food.

Or porn, which is a supernormal stimulus of human reproduction.

And so videogames… well.. They are LOADED with supernormal stimuli –

Call of Duty and Halo are so rewarding because they closely mimic the activity of hunting.

And the The humans, Zombies and monsters we find in these games are all artificial exaggerations of predators –

Sports games like Fifa and NBA2k21 are evolved simulations that mimic hunting and battle skills –

MMORPG’s like World of Warcraft simulate an exaggerated sense of progression by including ranking systems, rare equipment, and achievements –

And unlike real life where ‘progression’ takes real time and effort.

In video games, in just a few hours we can go from a weak puny nothing, to a legendary hero.

All of this is tied into primitive desires  where the best hunters and the most accomplished members within groups had better access to resources and potential mates.

Even the upgraded gear that we purchase is tied into our innate desire to appear accomplished within society… even if it’s a virtual one.

Get the Dark Mode guide

The Dark Mode Guide

is a simple system designed to help you achieve a specific goal by facilitating the development of relevant habits and creating the perfect environment to make failure impossible.

This guide is about actually walking the path. It creates a perfect environment devoid of excuses and forces you to face who you are and what you need to do in a way that’s sustainable.

#3: Video Games Use Operant Conditioning

This is a Skinner Box. A Skinner Box usually has a button or lever that activates a food dispenser.

It was designed by Dr. BF Skinner to research how he could change an organism’s behavior using rewards and punishment – a learning process that he dubbed ‘Operant Conditioning.’

Now, what does this have to do with video games?

Dr. Skinner made a lot of important observations – 2 of which are critical to understanding why video games are now DELIBERATELY addictive.

Observation 1: Rewards can be used to create addiction

Almost every game on the market is now OVERFLOWING with rewards –

We gain experience points, loot, and virtual money  for every monster we defeat,

We get rewards for unlocking new skills, recipes, and equipment.

In a lot of games, we even get rewards JUST for logging in every day.. In some cases we get rewards for getting a certain number of rewards! …This is WAY better than real life! 

Former Ubisoft Research Scientist Nick Yee famously conducted studies that demonstrated how the more hours that we spend playing video games,

the more self achievement we begin to derive from video games INSTEAD of real life…

By LEVERAGING these systems of seemingly unending rewards, video games  are starting to look more like Skinner Boxes than harmless sources of entertainment.

Observation 2: RANDOM rewards are even MORE addicting

We release much more dopamine when rewards are random…

This is why slot machines are so popular in casinos. Because of this, we’ve seen an unprecedented rise in “Gacha” type games.

Gacha is short for ‘Gachapon’ – which are very popular machines in Japan where people put money in hoping to score a rare toy.

Gacha-gacha the sound of the machine being cranked – and “Pon” is the sound made when you take the capsule out.

If you take a look at the Google play store on Android, or the App store on Ios – you’ll find THOUSANDS of Gacha games.

Where the ENTIRE point of the game is to spend real money on ‘loot boxes’, ‘crates’, or ‘wishes’… that MIGHT contain stronger equipment and heroes.

Players can never directly buy the items themselves… they can only offer up their money and pray to the gacha gods that today is their lucky day.

A lot of these games are disguised as RPG’s or Card games – The reality is that they’re just glorified slot machines, and what players THINK is a GAMING addiction, is actually a GAMBLING addiction.

My Method

Alright guys – everything described in this video is exactly why I tend to avoid most online shooters, MMORPG’s, and especially mobile games.

Here’s an easy trick that will help you identify games that are intentionally DESIGNED by be addicting – something that they ALL have in common –

They don’t have ‘game over’ screens… or for that manner any other ‘stopping cues’ that give us a pause to decide whether or not we want to keep playing.

My favorite thing to tell people when they ask for advice on managing video games is this: avoid games that don’t have an ending.

Anyway – as for me –  I only play role-playing games – more recently – The Witcher 3 and Persona 5 Royal and 13 Sentinels.

And indie games,  like Journey, Celeste, and Gris…

Generally speaking, I tend to gravitate towards games with rich stories, deep characters, and unique experiences –

And I also have a rule for myself where I can only play video games while I train on my bicycle. 

If you want to see first-hand how video games have influenced my life, follow me on Instagram @nelsonquest.

Stay
Updated!

Subscribe to e-mails

Join 100k+ others and receive weekly tools, tips, and secret resources directly from Nelson.

Related Articles

All Articles
PlayEveryday2
SelfHelp2
PickupLine1
See all

The 4 Modern Stimuli That Evolved to Enslave Us

The 4 Modern Stimuli That Evolved to Enslave Us

Table of Contents

One afternoon, a scientist and his students watched as a goose gave chase to a volleyball, hoping to ‘save’ the volleyball and return it to her nest, while she completely ignored her OWN egg as it tumbled along the ground just a few feet away.

The bigger, rounder volleyball actually triggered the mother goose’s primal instincts to a GREATER EXTENT than that of her own smaller, oval shaped eggs.

And while you might not believe it – hidden in this story is the secret behind why we struggle so much with the 4 ‘big obstacles’ of the modern age:

Porn <> Video Games <> Social Media, and Junk Food

What I’ve learned is that to overcome them, we need to understand them – WAY beyond just how they mess with our dopamine.

Because in reality, they literally HIJACK our primal instincts so that they can use them AGAINST us.

Which is why, whenever we use these things, we almost  almost instantly we start to feel a strong pull TOWARDS those things, and away from the things that actually benefit us.

So in this article I’ll show you exactly how we can get back to prioritizing physical attraction over sexual distractions, income levels over mining metals, squats over tik toks, and healthy meats over tasty sweets.

Let’s get into it:

Supernormal Stimuli #1: Porn

We are biologically wired to seek out specific desirable traits in potential mates.

Women with fuller lips and child bearing breasts and hips, men with strong features and muscled bodies –

Porn combines ALL of this, and then injects it with steroids, ULTRA 4k HD videos featuring women with gargantuan sized fake breasts and men with horse sized penises, groaning and screaming in exaggerated ways as they engage in utterly unrealistic “casual sex”.

Porn is  a ‘supernormal stimuli’ of sexual reproduction – the most POWERFUL primal instinct, which is why porn consumption results in a  MASSIVE dopamine dump that is EXPONENTIALLY exacerbated by its ease of access.

Again, dopamine IS what motivates us to do things- so the more we consume the ‘supernormal stimulus’ of porn, the more motivated we are to consume more of it.

Which converts it into a vicious downward cycle that Men MOST tend to struggle with.

Here’s how I manage it:

First, we need to understand the left inferior frontal cortex – which is what allows us essentially ‘override’ primal instincts.

In other words – … our greatest weapon at combating primal instincts that have been hijacked and mobilized against us… is ‘rationality’ – which most people are sorely lacking in.

As an example, most men will put tremendous effort towards something like NOFAP, which I am a fan of, but then they won’t even take a few MINUTES to sit alone in a room and consider “what is it that I REALLY want, and how is porn getting in the way of that? “

When I took the time to consider this for myself – what I really wanted was to find an ideal partner, which meant I had to build my value and become worthy of an ideal partner, which porn was a massive distraction from-

And to make a long story short: I used rationality to understand my primal instinct to reproduce in a way that allowed me to channel it to become what I needed to become if I wanted to attract a gorgeous, young, intellectually-curious, supportive, loving woman… who’s very open to sexual experimentation.

Supernormal Stimuli #2: Video Games

Video games are, for better or for worse, the pinnacle of supernormal stimuli.

Anything and everything in real life can be believably replicated in a virtual world and reconstructed to include all of the ‘reward’ elements, without any of the risk.

FPS games like Call of Duty and Apex Legends, are so rewarding because they so closely mimic the activity of hunting.

From the firing of projectiles at mobile targets, to the cooperation with teammates and coordination of an attack –

Our instinct to hunt thrived because hunters had a better chance to produce healthy offspring thanks to the nutrition and sustenance provided by a fresh kill.

Games like World of Warcraft on the other hand – simulate an exaggerated sense of progression by including ranking systems, rare equipment, and achievements –

In real life, while might just be a ‘lowly’ student or work a boring 9-5.

Online,  we can be level 90 elven warlock assassin.

Even FETCH QUESTS are forms of supernormal stimuli that simulate the activity of foraging – go to x area and retrieve x number of items or kill x number of monsters –

And all we need to do to ‘jack-in’ to these exaggerated realities, is this.

I personally LOVE video games – they’ve helped me tremendously as I move along the path.

And what I do to manage them is twofold – First – I don’t play any games that don’t have an ending – so no online or mobile games.

Second – I only allow myself to play video games… when I train on my bicycle –

Which means that riding a bike for an hour, something I used to absolutely hate, is now my favorite part of the day – easily my favorite life-hack ever.

By the time the hour is up, I’m exhausted and sweaty – so I don’t want to keep playing – what I want is a nice shower and to get back to work.

The best investment I’ve made for my health has been this one by far – and while I’ve got a pro bike setup, anyone could just as easily pick up a spin bike, which runs about $300 new or $100 used.

Get the Dark Mode guide

The Dark Mode Guide

is a simple system designed to help you achieve a specific goal by facilitating the development of relevant habits and creating the perfect environment to make failure impossible.

This guide is about actually walking the path. It creates a perfect environment devoid of excuses and forces you to face who you are and what you need to do in a way that’s sustainable.

Supernormal Stimuli #3: Social Media

Even before ‘language’ had evolved – our human ancestors had already learned the critical importance of cooperation and “group harmony” –

Which meant shared resources, and greater protections against  looming predators –

As a result, we are genetically HARDWIRED to seek approval from our peers.

Social Media understands this – and hijacks this instinct to keep us in a perpetual ‘approval seeking’ loop.

Every post is an opportunity to demonstrate value and increase our harmony within the group –

And every like that we receive is a signal of approval –

All of which our brain sees all as increasing our chances of survival.

Furthermore, within these ancient tribes – there were ‘hierarchies’ – Where an individuals rank was determined by numerous factors – including the individual’s skills, knowledge, experience, desirability to the opposite sex, and relationships with the rest of the tribe.

Within social media – we’re not seeing someone as they ACTUALLY are – we’re seeing their virtual projection of themself.

Which are often curated to highlight MOST, and in some cases ALL of these ranking factors.

So how do our primitive brains make sense of all of this? They don’t.

We see people AS their digital projections – which is why overconsumption of social media makes us feel depressed about our own, much more ‘REAL’ experience of ourselves –

It’s as if we are, perpetually, the ‘weakest link’ in the tribe, even IF we’ve achieved some stuff.

Social media is what I personally most struggle with, and to manage it what I do is – and this may sound weird – use my rational brain to detest social media – I literally feel disgust.

Which is why I don’t use Facebook or Tik Tok, and only use Instagram to share stuff with you guys and save memories – I also only follow my girl.

To manage YouTube, I keep it uninstalled on my phone – , which helps a lot (although I still get lost on my computer sometimes watching creators that I enjoy too much).

What helps me most is to just be present, and to use my rational brain to differentiate between ‘enjoyment’ and ‘wasting time’.

Supernormal Stimuli #4: Fast Food

Our taste buds – which we use to identify sweet, sour, salty, bitter, and umami flavors – evolved to help our ancestors identify high calorie food , while avoiding unsafe or toxic substances –

While dopamine systems evolved to create motivation for doing the things that would lead to high calorie foods –

Which, in a relatively short period of time – has gone from this and this, to this.

And what shows up to our door isn’t a freshly killed bison or recently plucked berries –

What usually shows up is something usually a SUPERNORMAL STIMULI of REAL food –

Loaded with artificial sugars and colorings to simulate high calorie, highly attractive  to give us lots of calories, and artificial coloring to make it even more to our ancient palettes.

If we’ve ever had a big mac, french fries, and a vanilla shake – then NEXT time we got hungry, we were probably thinking about that same meal or something similar, which is why fast food, like all supernormal stimuli, is always such a slippery slope.

Corporations understand this, which is why high calories aren’t so much ‘cooked’ as they are ‘invented’.. by scientists who have learned how to hijack our evolutionary instincts so that they can flip them on us.

To solve this, what I do is simple – I focus on the long-term feeling that foods are going to give me,, instead of blindly indulging in short-term pleasure. And I only eat delicious foods –

And before anyone starts with that b*llshit about how eating healthy is expensive – vegetables, fruits and eggs aren’t expensive, and there are tons of affordable and tasty meats and fish – you just have to ask around.

When we understand that porn, video games, social media, and fast food are all designed by profit-hungry corporations who don’t care about us.

It becomes a lot easier to look at the situation for what it is – and understand that we must rise ABOVE our instincts using RATIONALITY – to make the adjustments necessary to be able to thrive within the modern world.

If you enjoyed this article, please take a single second to subscribe to my YT Channel.

@nelsonquest on Instagram, if you enjoy my stuff make sure to subscribe and click the f*cking bell.

This is the path – ciao and cya in the next video.

Stay
Updated!

Subscribe to e-mails

Join 100k+ others and receive weekly tools, tips, and secret resources directly from Nelson.

Related Articles

All Articles
PlayEveryday2
SelfHelp2
PickupLine1
See all

Do This Stoic Exercise To Become Limitless

Do This Stoic Exercise To Become Limitless

Table of Contents

“Think of yourself as dead. You have lived your life. Now, take what’s left and live it properly. What doesn’t transmit light creates its own darkness.” - Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 7-56

On February 24, 2022, Russia invaded a completely outmatched Ukraine.

Boasting 10x more military spending, 5x more active personnel, 5x more armored fighting vehicles, 10x more aircraft and 20x more helicopters – Many expected that Russia would capture the Ukrainian capital within days, and in doing so, would execute President Volodomyr Zelensky.

Fearing much the same, just the day after the invasion began, the United States made an offer to Zelensky: flee your country and we’ll make sure you’re safe.

His response? 

“The fight is here. I need ammunition, not a ride”

This confused me greatly.

A politician?… a world leader that was actually willing to risk their life to defend that which they had sworn to defend?

With this confusion, came the shocking realization of how we’re living during an era where it’s become normalized for most people (and in particular authority figures) to betray the values and ideas they claim to champion, when it becomes convenient to do so.

By choosing to stay and fight and lead his people, Zelensky inspired the world by breathing new life into virtues that most of us assumed were dead… and the result has been magnificent.

Ukraine, just like every other country, has their fair share of political corruption and civil disagreements, yet Ukranians from all walks of life – farmers, programmers, accountants, grandmothers – – most of whom have never so much as fired a single bullet, have taken up arms and are ready to die to protect their homeland.

Even boxing legends like the Klitschko brothers, Vasily Lomachenko, and Oleksandr Usyk, men with power and money, wives and children – 

In the west, we see those things as reasons not to fight. These men see them as reasons for why they must fight. Think about that for a second, and if that doesn’t blow your mind, consider this:

The Ukrainian battle with Russia IS literally redefining the very idea of what power is as well.

Because sure,  tanks and planes are powerful, but perhaps even more powerful are people with pride and courage and LEADERS who embody those same virtues –

People with enough moral fortitude to draw a proverbial line in the sand, and boldly declare that ‘he who dares cross this line shall have hell to me’ – regardless of the size of the enemy!

If you feel like all of this inspires something within you as it does within me, then I invite you to join me as we work our way through the stoic exercise of TRULY considering what we are  willing to die for.

If your experience is anything like mine, I think you’ll be blown away by the result.

I’ve spent weeks contemplating this question, and understanding where I draw MY line in the sand has dramatically improved my motivation and ability to take action.

Let’s begin.

What does it mean to be willing to die for something?

“I have to die. If it is now, well then I die now; if later, then now I will take my lunch, since the hour for lunch has arrived – and dying I will tend to later.” - Epictetus

First, we need to understand what it actually means to be willing to die for something.

My wife Gabby once asked me if I would die for her, and I told her ‘absolutely not.’

She was a bit upset by this so I explained to her “Listen, Gabby, if ever there was some sort of grave threat to your life, I’d find a way to keep you safe from it.”

“I have a tremendous amount of life experience, and I’ve been in many life threatening situations, all of which have granted me the wisdom to act quickly, decisively, and without emotion”

“So, as long as you’re with me, I promise to do everything I can to keep you safe from danger. If I were to die for you, then how am I supposed to protect you?”

Upon saying all of this, a massive grin spread over her face.

And then I added “plus, if I were to die, I know you would never be able to move on with another man, and you would probably just end up taking your own life, hoping to reunite with me  in the afterlife.”

To this she began to laugh, but before she could even squeeze out a single giggle, I slapped her across the face for even considering that this was a joke.

I’m joking! But my main point in all of this is that the ‘willingness’ to die for something shouldn’t be the first option, it should be the last option.

If it comes down to it, yeah, I’m willing to die to protect what I love, but not before I’ve exhausted every possible way to either protect us from, or eliminate the threat itself.

Once we understand what it means to be ‘willing to die’ for something, then we’re ready to consider the question further.

Here are the 3 main things that I’m willing to die for.

1. Freedom

“You want to live, but do you know how to live? You are scared of dying and tell me, is the kind of life you lead really any different from being dead?” -Seneca

I firmly believe that the greatest existential threat to our time is the gradual encroachment by the 3-headed monster of corporations, government, and media, onto our freedoms.

It’s insane to think that Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube, the ‘public square of the 21st century’, have taken it upon themselves to become the arbiters of what is ‘truth.’

Yeah what could go wrong when soulless multinational corporations, motivated by profit and swayed by massive political biases, get to decide what’s true?

To the extent that should you dare use one of their platforms to voice anything they’ve determined to not be true, you can receive a strike or have your account shut down entirely, without any real way to appeal.

What people don’t realize is that this slow encroachment onto our freedom of speech – arguably our most important freedom because it allows us to speak up against tyranny and other horrible ideas – is creating a situation where those who disagree with whatever narrative the 3-headed monster is pushing are essentially guilty of ‘wrongthink’ and branded as enemies.

And when you study history – I would particularly encourage you to study The Gulag Archipelago, or the rise of Communism in China – you understand that the death of freedom always begins the same way –

A systematic elimination of constitutionally protected liberties under the guise of ‘being for the greater good.’

In the words of Marcus Aurelius, “Look back over the past, with its changing empires that rose and fell, and you can foresee the future too.”

I believe that to exist within a system where our every move is manipulated by the slimy tentacles of totalitarian policy is the equivalent of death – and so why wouldn’t I be willing to die in the battle to prevent that from happening.

Get the Dark Mode guide

The Dark Mode Guide

is a simple system designed to help you achieve a specific goal by facilitating the development of relevant habits and creating the perfect environment to make failure impossible.

This guide is about actually walking the path. It creates a perfect environment devoid of excuses and forces you to face who you are and what you need to do in a way that’s sustainable.

2. My Country

“Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present.” ― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

Would I be willing to die for my government? Absolutely not.

Would I be willing to die protecting my family, friends, neighbors… people who follow this channel?

Yeah, I would.

Because when you log out of social media and log into the real world what you find overwhelmingly is that people are great.

They’re honest, they care about one another, and generally speaking, they’re doing the best they can given the information and resources they have available to them.

For a country to actually be a country, there’s an implicit assumption that we should all be willing to fight, and yes, even risk our own lives, to protect those around us.

Because if we’re not willing to do that, then what are we really? A geographic area with artificial boundaries.

3. My Family

“Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by…. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones.” - Marcus Aurelius

So for me this is where things get a little complicated – I’ll explain.

My mother and father – my heart tells me that I should be willing to die to protect them,but I’d like to think that if it came down to it, that I wouldn’t give my life, because I know how important it would be for them, in that situation, to lay down their lives for me instead.

So I guess when defining family, within the context of what I’m willing to die for, I’m referring to ‘those who come after me.’

I’m at a point in my life where I’m just now starting my own family. Last week, at my 2nd amateur boxing match, seeing my wife and her daughter (who I’m only just starting to get to know)  watch me go to battle filled me with something I still don’t fully understand, so I can’t explain it to you here.

But what I can explain is that, many years ago, I came to understand profoundly that my life would have absolutely no meaning so long as I served myself.

And since I’ve learned to serve those around and above me, life has given me more in the ways of blessings, success, and motivation, than I ever could have imagined.

Stay
Updated!

Subscribe to e-mails

Join 100k+ others and receive weekly tools, tips, and secret resources directly from Nelson.

Related Articles

All Articles
PlayEveryday2
SelfHelp2
PickupLine1
See all

The (Real) Reason You Have NO Motivation

The (Real) Reason You Have NO Motivation

Table of Contents

Social Media is so much worse than you’d think. It may seem like we’re just innocently scrolling through Instagram or Facebook, but on a neurochemical level what’s actually happening is that our motivation is being directed away from the long-term awards that we experience when we work hard learn new abilities or improve our health and instead directed towards more consumption of social media.

If you consume social media in any amount and you struggle with motivation this article will make it clear why that’s happening by covering the three main reasons. At the very end of the article I’ll also show you how I’m able to instead maintain extremely high levels of motivation with everything that I do… let’s begin.

#1: Social media is a dopamine machine.

So, if you struggle with any sort of motivation related issue: procrastination, drugs, sex, masturbation; if you feel more motivated towards those things than you do towards getting work done or improving yourself, then you really need to understand how dopamine works.

Dopamine is the neurochemical that our bodies release to motivate us towards the things that it believes are important for our survival. When we’re hungry, our brain releases dopamine to motivate us to go find food. If it didn’t, we would starve to death… literally. When scientists stopped the release of dopamine in mice, it caused the mice to stop eating altogether they just sat there doing absolutely nothing.

Now, here’s the problem: dopamine is a component in our reward system, which is a system that has hardly evolved since prehistoric times, meanwhile technology like social media is evolving at an exponential rate.

For most of human history, social acceptance was a critical element of human survival because in case you haven’t noticed humans kind of suck: we can’t run particularly fast, we don’t have sharp fangs, if I fell off the stool I’d probably break a bone.

These days we can get away with being loners, but in prehistoric times social acceptance was critical for survival, and to have low standing within the tribe was bad, but to be kicked out of a tribe was basically a death sentence.

Every time we engage in social media this tribal dynamic is being played out at multiple levels.

When we post something, the likes and comments we receive are interpreted by our prehistoric brains as validation of our position within the higher of the tribe, which is why lots of likes make us feel great while just a few likes makes us feel not so great.

Every time we leave a like or drop a comment it’s because we feel a sense that we’re adding value to the relationship and reinforcing closeness, and this also creates reciprocity because by liking other people’s posts it’s been proven that we significantly increase the chances that they’re going to like our posts in return.

Social media spends hundreds of millions of dollars to understand all of this, so that it can hijack our dopamine system to motivate us to continue consuming more and more social media. This is why for example whenever we post something everyone who follows us won’t see the post immediately, instead social media will throttle the number of people who see the post to basically spread out engagement over a 48 plus hour period to get the maximum impact with respect to how it’s affecting our reward system.

It’s like an IV drip of small rewards that can quickly become the principal reward that we feel motivation towards.

#2: Social media is a Supernormal Stimuli.

According to the book ‘Supernormal Stimuli, how Primal Urges Overran their Evolutionary Purpose’ By Deirdre Barret from Harvard University, ‘Supernormal Stimuli or any stimuli that elicit an instinctual reaction more strongly than does the stimulus for which the Instinct evolved’.

So, the essence of supernormal stimuli is that the exaggerated imitation of an actual natural instinct can exert a stronger pull than the real thing.

For example, porn is a supernormal stimuli of reproduction, junk food is a supernormal stimuli of real food, video games are supernormal stimuli of hunting, gathering and socializing, and as for social media… well, social media is a supernormal stimuli of tribes and tribal dynamics (everything we covered in the first section).

In prehistoric times we competed in much smaller tribes usually consisting of around 25 to 150 people.

Now, in comparison, our digital social media hierarchies often consist of thousands of people, everyone from weird friends that we haven’t talked to in 10 years to celebrities and billionaires, so often thousands of people; and the rule of any hierarchy is that we are in competition with everyone in the hierarchy.

Competition means comparison and whether we realize it or not, every single post that we read, every photo that we consume, we’re actually comparing.

Now, if the difference is small, then we feel happy because that indicates we have a good position… but if the difference is big, we feel unhappy because that indicates that we have a low position, and so the more unhappy that we feel with respect to our position, the less motivated we feel to improve our position because we feel like the task is far too great for our ability, which brings us to point number three.

Get the Dark Mode guide

The Dark Mode Guide

is a simple system designed to help you achieve a specific goal by facilitating the development of relevant habits and creating the perfect environment to make failure impossible.

This guide is about actually walking the path. It creates a perfect environment devoid of excuses and forces you to face who you are and what you need to do in a way that’s sustainable.

#3: Social media vastly exceeds our cognitive threshold.

British Anthropologist Robin Dunbar observed that the brain size of primates had a significant correlation with how large their societies typically grew.

So, by taking those numbers and plugging them in to correlate with the average brain size of humans, he came up with a number of 150: Dunbar’s number, the cognitive limit to the number of meaningful relationships that a human being can have.

Having more than 150 friends causes a cognitive overload that reduces our ability to operate optimal. Social media often connects us to thousands of people, which is way beyond our cognitive threshold and severely impairs our ability to operate at optimal levels.

Our social network is itself a hierarchy and it’s probably the one that has the most influence within our lives.

When it becomes too large or varied we feel less motivation to climb it because we feel overwhelmed by it, usually in the form of anxiety or feeling like we’re lost or in a situation that’s hopeless, because of how small and insignificant we feel when considered within the massive scale of that hierarchy.

Social networks represent social interaction on a scale that we never evolved to manage efficiently or effectively.

Conclusion

All right guys, so to quickly recap, for anyone looking to maximize motivation levels, you should limit not only your use of but your access to social media as much as possible.

So, in my case, social media is still a very tricky thing for me to manage.

I only really use Instagram where I’ve reduced the size of my digital hierarchy from thousands of people to now only following 150.

If I want to share a post or a story I usually just send it to Sebastian who is someone that I hire to manage all of my social media.

Broadly speaking, I just keep Instagram uninstalled on my phone and I only install it if I really want to post something myself or respond to comments.

Making these videos on dopamine and reading as many studies and scientific literature as I have at this point has given me an amazing understanding of dopamine and how it ties into our motivational systems and I think it’s the most important thing that you can learn about if you’re looking to increase your own motivation.

Knowing what I know now, when I feel a lack of motivation I know that it’s not because I’m lazy (and no human is inherently lazy, there is always a cause, and for our generation the cause is almost always social media) so when I feel lack of motivation I figure out what it is that’s siphoning away my motivation and I completely restrict my access to it, while at the same time I forced myself to sit down and do productive work.

Within a few hours I almost always feel more energy and motivation, and after a full day of that I feel like a brand new man.

If you have any issues with motivation, learn everything you can about dopamine, there are lots of videos on this channel to help you there.

Stay
Updated!

Subscribe to e-mails

Join 100k+ others and receive weekly tools, tips, and secret resources directly from Nelson.

Related Articles

All Articles
PlayEveryday2
SelfHelp2
PickupLine1
See all

Follow Me:

Instagram
Youtube

© 2021 NelsonQUEST.com. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Dark Mode
Newsletter

Join 100k+ subscribers and find out which videos to start with right away, as well as exclusive tools, tips and resources directly from Nelson.

Instagram
Youtube
Dark Mode
Newsletter

Join 100k+ subscribers and find out which videos to start with right away, as well as exclusive tools, tips and resources directly from Nelson.

© 2021 NelsonQUEST.com. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.