How to Create Good Habits
(Nelson Quest's 3-Point System)

Table of Contents

I have an addiction that I haven’t been honest with you guys about, I’m going to just come out and say it, I’m addicted to fitness. Sometimes, this can be a problem, like the time I thought it would be a good idea to spar my friend everyday for 30 days, but mostly, this has been really good for me.

I get excited when it’s time to ride my bike, lift heavy weights, or my absolute favorite, climb tres cruces with Ro. Heck, I’m currently writing the script for this video on a treadmill, which I’ll spend at least 4 hours walking on today. I wonder how that’s going to sound when I read it out loud.

Considering who I am today, it’s crazy to think that there was a time, many moons ago, where developing a habit of fitness or really any positive habit for that matter, was something that I always failed at, these days, it’s the complete opposite, I’m able to create positive habits effortlessly, which is why, as you guys can see through this channel, I have a lot of them.

I’m going to assume that you’re trying to get to that same place as well, where the creation of positive habits goes from difficult, to effortless, so in this post, I’m going to show you my exact process, let’s begin.

Step 1: Start with self-image​

In the past, whenever I tried to develop positive habits, I’d essentially see myself as some sort of pathetic newbie who was probably going to fail within the context of whatever habit I was trying to develop, for example, when I first tried to establish a gym habit, I saw myself as a newbie who was just trying to go to the gym, then, the more times that I failed to create the habit, the more proof I had that I was going to fail, does that make sense?

As Maxwell Maltz describes in “Psycho Cybernetics”

“The man who conceives himself to be a ‘failure-type person’ will find some way to fail”

So if we start going to the gym, but our self-image is that of someone who always fails at getting habits to stick, then whenever we inevitably miss a day, we’re essentially confirming the “failure-type” person that we see ourselves as, and this is how one missed day can easily turn into 2 days, 3 days, failure.

So now, whenever I create new habits, I instead see myself as the habit, I don’t see myself as someone who tries to go to the gym, I’m someone who goes to the gym, I don’t see myself as someone who tries to meditate, or who is learning to practice yoga, I meditate, and I do yoga.

If I miss a day, 2 days, even if I miss an entire week, it doesn’t matter because my habits are my self-image, a man who is what he does, and does what he desires.

If you’re someone that fails all the time, it’s because your idea of “who you are” is inconsistent with who you want to be, if you’re smart, you’ll pause the video and consider this for a few minutes, now be careful here because self-image is not positive thinking, self-image is the root, it’s how we see our self.

Thinking is a symptom of the root, “positive thinking” is when we envision a positive outcome for the things we task the self with doing, so if we think we can develop a habit, but our self-image is of someone who always fails, we’re going to fail.

We define what’s possible not in our thoughts, but in our self-image.

Step 2: Start small and build consistency

“we are what we repeatedly do”

“The man who conceives himself to be a ‘failure-type person’ will find some way to fail”

Consistency is literally the most underrated word within the world of self-development, and there’s actually a really simple trick that we can play on ourselves that make developing any habit really, really easy.

Aim for just 1 minute a day, whether it be developing the skill of meditation, journaling, cold showers, 1 minute.

Now here’s the trick, when we commit to just 1 minute, we remove most of the friction and what will most often happen, like 99% of the time, is that once we get started, that we’ll keep going for more than 1 minute.

I used to really struggle with writing for these videos because I saw them as these daunting, 15+ hour tasks, now, when it’s time to write, I trick myself by aiming to write for just one minute, and 99% of the time I end up in a flow state where I end up writing for hours.

With more involved habits like going to the gym, don’t even aim for 1 minute, instead, aim to put your clothes on and pack your gym bag, then go from there.

In the words of Alan Watts

“if you’re going to outwit the devil, it’s terribly important that you don’t give him any advance notice”.

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is a simple system designed to help you achieve a specific goal by facilitating the development of relevant habits and creating the perfect environment to make failure impossible.

This guide is about actually walking the path. It creates a perfect environment devoid of excuses and forces you to face who you are and what you need to do in a way that’s sustainable.

Step 3: Fall in love with the benefits​

The problem with a lot of habits early on is that they’re kind of painful, we don’t want to get out of bed early to go to the gym, it’s so hard to meditate without getting distracted, we suck at dancing and it will take weeks or months to see improvement.

It’s easier to sustain a positive habit than it is to start one, especially when we start getting compliments, feel more at peace during the day, or start busting out cool moves. So, how can we start to love a new habit in that critical stage where we’re just getting started but haven’t yet experienced positive results?

Simple, by visualizing the positive benefits before they happen.

Something that I used to do was to draw a line down a piece of paper and then list out every positive and negative that I could think of. To develop my gym habit, I remember starting with the obvious, be more attractive, have more energy, but then the pen took on a life of its own, live longer for my children, have a more impressive presence in business negotiations, by the time I was done I had listed over 100 positive benefits.

I now understand that doing this is an advanced form of visualization that allows us to simulate the benefits of something before we actually experience them.

Summary

Anyway guys, time for a quick summary.

Step 1: Start with self-image

If we see ourselves as someone who “fails” whenever we try to develop positive habits, we’re going to fail.

As Maxwell Maltz explains:

“Our self-image and our habits tend to go together. Change one and you will automatically change the other”.

Step 2: Start small and build consistency

Aim for just 1 minute a day, the smaller we make our goal, the more friction we remove, the easier it becomes to build consistency, consistency is critically important to be able to transform from someone who is trying to build a habit to someone who is that habit.

Step 3: Fall in love with the benefits

Early on, habits can feel tedious or painful to perform, because we’re not yet experiencing the positive benefits that bring with them motivation.

To help mitigate this, we should take some time to list out every positive benefit that we can think of, which is actually an advanced form of visualization.

Alright guys, subscriptions literally don’t mean anything, so if you want to develop the positive habit of getting notified first whenever I upload new videos, don’t just hit subscribe, but make sure to click the fucking bell icon.

If you want to see all of the positive habits I’ve developed – make sure to follow me on instagram @NelsonQuest.

If you like achieving goals – make sure to check out my Dark Mode productivity system.

Lastly, if you have any unique strategies for developing positive habits, or want to share some habits you’re working on, please do so via the comments below.

This is the path, see you in the next post.

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