Month: July 2022

Broke Freelancer to $8MM Web Design Business (in 7 Steps)

Broke Freelancer to $8MM Web Design Business (in 7 Steps)

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In 2008 I built my first real estate website. Fast forward to today and I’ve now got a thriving business with over 50 employees valued at close to $8MM.

Now here’s the thing – anyone, if they worked hard enough, could achieve the same result… because when I started, I had practically nothing… less than nothing.

I had no money, no skills, a cheap laptop, and only a few months earlier I had graduated college with a degree in economics that as it turns out, I would never use.

I also had no idea how to make websites. I didn’t know how to code. I wasn’t a photoshop expert.

Here’s what I did know: I wanted to work online.

And in this video I’ll share with you the 7 exact steps that I followed to get where I am today – steps that if I had understood earlier, would have helped me to get here in a fraction of the time.

Step 1: The ‘A-Ha’ Moment

For most of my life, I had pretty much just blindly followed the path that had been laid out in front of me.

After graduating college, my dad had an idea to start a real estate brokerage. That idea went up in flames, but before it did, I had the opportunity to build a website for it using a popular real estate website template builder.

I LOVED building that website – working on my computer from the comfort of my bedroom, reading photoshop tutorials to improve my skills, and the indescribable feeling of seeing the final result of all the hours I had invested.

Anyway, after that business failed, I decided that I would be a real estate agent, and the first thing I did was build another website for myself.

That website won an award for ‘site of the month’ → I put a little graphic on the site saying ‘if you want a website like this, contact me’ → and from there, I got my first paying client.

This was my ‘a-ha’ moment. The realization that I could actually make a living from this.

I think we all need an ‘aha’ moment to realize that we can escape the 9-5 career path, and chances are that if you chose to watch this video, you’ve already had it in some shape or form.

Let me know what that moment was for you guys in the comments below. It will be a fun reflection for you,  and helpful for others.

Step 2: Master Freelancing

Before I could start my business, I needed design skills. I needed to be able to generate leads and convert them into sales. I needed MONEY. I needed reasons that people would even want to do business with me in the first place ( aka a portfolio and testimonials).

And then finally, I needed to identify a ‘problem’ that my business was going to solve.

Masterirg the game of freelance gave me all of this and more, and I firmly believe that any budding digital business owner should start here.

As already mentioned, I got paid $50 for my first website – and I had no idea what I was doing, but I had a month to complete everything.

Working every hour of every day, 7 days a week, that ended up being just enough time to learn enough to be able to deliver a really nice end result to what ended up being a very happy first client.

With every subsequent website, my design skills were improving, meaning I could charge more and deliver a better end result, all in less time.

My prospecting also got better. I didn’t have money so what I would do was go to real estate agent websites and write them a personalized message through the contact form on their site where I offered my services and included links to view my growing portfolio and testimonials.

Initially I’d spend up to 30 minutes on each message, thinking that being more personal would give me a better result…  that strategy failed miserably.

Then I tried sending copy and paste messages, but that didn’t work either.

After lots of trial and error, I found a way to semi-personalize each message enough so that they seemed personal, even though they were mostly just copy and paste.

This worked great and with just a few hours of prospecting each day I was generating lots of leads, which I then still had to sell, which over time I learned was all about passionately communicating how I the website I built for them would deliver WAY more value than what I was asking them to pay me.

Value that came in many forms – saving them time, reducing their headaches, and most importantly, making them more money.

As my design and sales skills grew, I was able to charge enough to where I could now start saving the money that I would need to lay the foundations of my business, and after building enough real estate websites, I was able to start identifying some specific problems that my business could solve.

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Step 3: Specialize Within a Niche

As a struggling freelance designer, I would hungrily accept every job that was offered to me because I didn’t want to say no to money,

Ironically, this mentality was costing me money, and it’s the biggest mistake that I see freelancers make.

When you specialize within a specific niche, you develop niche-specific skills, you figure out specific processes that allow you to work faster, AND perhaps most importantly, you build a reputation.

At about 1 year into my freelance career, I had built a name for myself within the ‘real estate website’ niche, and was now charging $2000 for sites that were taking me only 2 weeks each to complete.

But I was still stupidly saying ‘yes’ to side jobs, one of which was a $10k ecommerce site (more money that I had ever been offered).

That site took me 10x the amount of time that it took me to build a single $2000 real estate website, meaning that I could have made 2x the amount of total money if I had just focused on real estate websites, not to mention that all the time I spent on a one-off website where I could have instead continued to grow my real estate niche specific skills, reviews & portfolio.

Moral of the story is this: when you work online, you’ll be exposed to lots of different industries and niches. As soon as you find one that seems promising, focus ALL of your time and energy there.

Whether you’re building websites or providing marketing services to ecommerce websites that use Shopify, providing online accounting services for doctors or dentists, or helping YouTubers improve their social media growth.

The failure to specialize in a niche, as a freelancer OR business, will make you less competitive than the freelancers or businesses you’re competing against who do specialize.

Step 4: Create Systems for Repetitive Tasks

When you specialize within a niche, you end up doing a lot of the same things over and over, meaning there are HUGE gains to be made by creating systems.

My first system was for client onboarding, which was basically just 

  1. A form that I’d have my clients fill out
  2. A dropbox folder where I’d have them upload their logo and any images they wanted to use on the site. 
  3. An email that I’d send to the client explaining all of this 😉

Seeing the amount of time this saved me, I proceeded to create a “go live” system, “prospecting” systems, and even a ‘design system’ which helped me to finish websites in as quickly as 1 week.

It’s really simple guys – the more you specialize within a specific niche, the more you should build systems that help you spend less time on each subsequent project while delivering an equal or superior end result. This is the game.

When I see freelancers who are ‘stuck’, it’s almost always because they don’t have a niche, don’t have systems, or a combination of the two.

And here’s the thing, once you’ve got yourself a niche and some systems, you now have a business.

Granted, it’s a shit business, because you’re the only employee and you’re not making any money unless you’re actually getting new projects, which brings us to…

Step 5: Figure Out How To Generate Recurring Income

Ok so at this point in my freelance career I was earning a good amount of money per project, but if I didn’t have new projects, I wasn’t making money. In the world of freelance, this is what’s called “feast or famine” and it sucks.

To solve this, I decided to charge my clients $20/month for hosting. It wasn’t a lot, but once I had 10 clients paying this amount, I realized that I was now earning $2400 per year ($20 per site x 10 clients x 12 months), all on auto-pilot.

What would happen when I got to 50 clients? 500 clients? 

This was a mind-blowing revelation for me, and suddenly the game changed from  “how can I charge more per site” to “how can I sell more sites to collect more monthly fees”.

So I developed a real estate website ‘template’ that I could customize in just a few hours and boom, each new website meant more monthly fees.

Within a year my monthly recurring income was now greater than what I had been earning directly through freelance projects!

To put this into the proper perspective for you guys, this meant that I could spend a month in Africa climbing Mt Kilimanjaro, hunting with the Masaii, and eating breakfast next to elefants, and earn more money than when I was actually in the trenches sending prospecting emails, running demo’s and building websites.

There’s a reason why businesses with low or no monthly recurring income have shit valuations. Make no mistake, the name of the game IS recurring income.

Anyway, at this point in my business journey, I was maxxed out at what I could do alone. If I was going to go any further, I was going to need employees.

Step 6: Hire Employees As Soon As It Makes Sense

When you’re just starting out, it’s easy to fall into the “why would I pay someone to do something that I can do better?” mentality.

When you’re broke, this mentality is necessary, but as soon as you’re able to, you need to hire people, starting with hiring for the things that take the most time while involving the least skill.

For me, this meant first hiring for data entry and prospecting.

It was extremely important for me to outsource this stuff as quickly as possible, and while it was crucially important, in my eyes, I don’t really consider it to count as ‘my first employee.’

No, for me my first employee was the one I was worried about hiring, because not only was I going to pay them pretty much all of the profit I was bringing in, but they were going to take over the main thing that I had been doing up until that point; designing websites.

Now was the person I hired as good as me? Of course not… but he was pretty good, and within a few months he was able to take over almost ALL of the design work that I had previously been doing, which meant that I was now free to focus on the most important part of the business: growing it.

Step 7: Systematically Replace Yourself

I focused my free time on marketing and lead-gen… the problem was that I was not particularly good at marketing and lead-gen, and so this was the next thing I hired for.

We now had leads flying in from Google ads at $25/each, which meant we no longer had to spend hours each day sending far less effective prospecting emails.

As already mentioned,, my business has over 50 employees – entire departments for support, design, and sales, and the key that facilitated all of that growth was me constantly looking at the things I was doing and asking the question “is this the best use of my time?”

If the answer was ‘no’, then I knew I needed to hire someone.

Alright guys so listen, if you enjoyed the article please give the YouTube video a like – then subscribe for more and and click the bell – doesn’t cost you anything and it gives a HUGE boost to the channel, and to me.

Follow me on Instagram @nelsonquest to see me living everything that I talk about, and visit nelsonquest.com to get my Dark Mode productivity system for free –  it’s the same system I use when I really need to work on my business.

This is the path.

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Why it’s getting harder to take action

Why it's getting harder to take action

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Success isn’t a secret – you set a goal, and the distance between where you are now and your goal is a certain amount of action that you need to complete. 

And we all have a rough idea of the sort of things we should be doing to be successful – work hard, build good habits, take care of our health. 

We’ve read lots of books and watched lots of YouTube ‘how-to’ videos, yet why is it that some people are able to effortlessly apply the information that they consume, while others end up in an endless loop of consumption? 

There’s actually something really sinister going on in the world that prevents the majority of people from taking necessary action – which I’m going to uncover for you in this article. 

I’ll also give you 4 easy to implement steps that are designed to not only make taking action effortless – they’re designed to turn ‘taking action’ into a default state. 

A quick warning before we begin, this will require you to keep an open mind as I’ll be asking you to destroy old programming and adapt new programming. 

Is This The Weakest Generation Ever?

This generation is constantly critiqued as being the weakest in the history of humanity. From what I’ve been able to gather from history, I tend to agree – and I think the primary reason for this is what I like to describe as ‘external first’ mindset – I’ll explain. 

Not that long ago, if we wanted to use information as a tool, we had to literally get into a car and go to a library… which was only open during certain hours….

Before there were libraries, if we really wanted to solve a difficult problem, we might have had to dedicate our entire life to solving that problem. 

To put that into perspective, those same problems we can now solve with a 5 second google search. 

So in the past, if  we wanted to ‘build good habits’ or ‘start a business’ , we had no choice but to first consider these questions internally, and it’s precisely here that we arrive at the core problem behind why most people seem crippled to take action… it’s because they have no internal. 

Having no internal, they can’t possibly trust themselves to take action, so they reflexively cast the nets of their consciousness out into the external world hoping to find some magical knowledge that will give them the confidence to take action. 

However, having no internal, they’re also not capable of understanding what true knowledge is, and so they waste their lives searching for knowledge that they’re doomed to never find. 

By contrast, if you take any successful person and ask them how they became successful, chances are they’re not going to respond with “I learned from a YouTube course” or “I’m successful because of this book that I read”

Now that’s not to say that they won’t reference those information sources as potentially key pieces in their overall development… but at the end of the day, information sources are just that… information “sources”. 

Successful people use information to sharpen the blade… but they ARE the blade. By contrast, most of us are just READING about the blade – imagining what it’s like to be the blade – and we rust and become dull in the process. 

So how do we make the shift from the modern default state of ‘external first’ mindset, back to ‘internal first’ mindset – how to actually be the blade instead of just fucking theorizing about it? 

Here are the 4 steps. 

Step 1. Reprogram our understanding of ‘knowledge’

Books are not knowledge, books are just information in a raw state – good information as well as bad information – and frankly, most modern books actually make us WEAKER by reading them.

Mel Robbins “5 second rule” is a perfect example of this – it’s a great ‘idea’ that can be explained in about 15 seconds – here’s the explanation taken directly from her website:

“The 5 Second Rule is simple. If you have an instinct to act on a goal, you must physically move within 5 seconds or your brain will kill it.The moment you feel an instinct or a desire to act on a goal or a commitment, use the Rule. When you feel yourself hesitate before doing something that you know you should do, count 5-4-3-2-1-GO and move towards action.”

Ok great,  thank you Mel Robbins. Oh wait, can you explain one more thing? Can you explain WHY THE FUCK we need a 240 page book to explain this? Are you fucking kidding me? 

Anyone who reads all 240 pages of this book, is WEAKER by the end of it, because they will have wasted… how long does it take to read 240 pages? … about 7 hours? They will have wasted 7 hours reading about the THEORY of something that can be applied INSTANTLY.

Watching informational YouTube videos is no different – the bottom line here is any information that we consume is not KNOWLEDGE until we’ve directly applied it. Before application, information exists only as theory. 

And even after applying it once, in most cases it’s still not quite knowledge – it’s imitation. 

Knowledge is only achieved when we APPLY what we consume enough to be able to formulate our own critical thoughts on it by observing our own direct experiences with it. 

Developing an ‘internal first’ mindset really isn’t REMOTELY possible until we reprogram ourselves to see  knowledge in this way. 

To know the path is not to walk the path, to walk the path IS to know the path. 

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The Dark Mode Guide

is a simple system designed to help you achieve a specific goal by facilitating the development of relevant habits and creating the perfect environment to make failure impossible.

This guide is about actually walking the path. It creates a perfect environment devoid of excuses and forces you to face who you are and what you need to do in a way that’s sustainable.

Step 2. Never Read More Than 1 Chapter (or watch more than 1 video)

Now that we’ve defined knowledge, let’s put it to the test in real life. 

Books are separated into chapters for a reason – as nownovel.com describes: “They give the reader space to pause and digest the plot developments and complications of the preceding chapter”

When it comes to self-help or business type books, chapters generally start by outlining a specific problem or concept, then they go on to solve the problem, usually with relatable examples, and almost always wrap-up with some sort of important takeaway or a set of actionable steps to follow.

Chapters are literally designed for us to be able to consume information in manageable chunks that we can then review and apply. 

When someone with an ‘internal first’ mindset reads a chapter of a book – let’s say they’re reading a chapter dealing with the development of good habits. 

As they’re reading, they’ll simultaneously be considering how they can apply this information within their own lives. What sort of experiences do they already have developing good habits (success, failures and everything else) and how does that compare to what they’re reading? And perhaps the most important question: is the author making a compelling enough case for them to actually try implementing what’s being taught? 

To start to ask lots of questions and reflect against our own experiences while we consume information is how we go from ‘mindless consumption’ to ‘critical consumption’ – which is a key characteristic of ‘internal first’ mindset. 

The same applies to YouTube videos. I know even videos like the one you’re watching now can ‘feel’ enlightening – but how much of what you’re consuming now will you just forget a few hours later? 

YouTube, like all social media platforms, is designed to keep us consuming,  and if we watch 5 videos before we even have the faintest impulse to think “oh wait, I’m wasting time”, that’s a hallmark of the ‘external first’ mindset that we’re working right now to reprogram.  

Step 3: Consume information only when we can ‘quickly’ apply it

If we like to start our mornings at the gym, and we’re going to work on our business afterwards – then our warmup on the treadmill at the gym is a perfectly good time to consume information about fitness or business.

Before I work on these videos I usually like to spend an hour or so studying philosophy – so that when I start writing I look for ways to apply what I’m studying. 

But what about if you’re sitting on your couch, watching a video about how to improve your discipline, when you know you’re going to spend the next few hours playing video games? Not a good time. 

Eating breakfast and watching a video about how to be more creative, when you won’t be doing anything creative any time soon? Useless..

If you can’t immediately apply, don’t consume.

Sitting on the couch may be a good time for you to just… rest, or meditate. Breakfast is a great time for you to think about the day in front of you, or maybe do a quick review of messages or emails so you can figure out how the first part of your day needs to be organized. 

Shifting to an ‘internal first’ mindset means not only knowing ‘how’ to consume information, but also ‘when’ to consume it. 

Step 4: Never consume any information without thinking about it ourselves first

This is the final and most important step – the culmination of this whole video and the last 3 steps we talked about. 

Imagine what our lives would be like if we internalized whatever question we have FIRST – BEFORE searching externally for the answers. 

How do I start a business? How do I learn how to dance? How do I work out? … when we consider these questions ourselves FIRST, BEFORE we look to external information sources, we may be blown away by the results. 

Here’s a personal example: When I first started dancing salsa, after a few months I got to a point where I was no longer enjoying the classes… I just hated the music. 

Instead of going online to search externally, for a solution, I thought about the question internally first.

After a bit of introspection, I figured that, to ‘enjoy’ the music, that perhaps I should study the flow of the music and understand how different instruments and harmonies work together. 

Study the origins – understand how ‘cuban’ and ‘puerto rican’ salsa’ evolved into their own unique styles – the tragic story of Hector Lavoe and how that translated into his music. 

I called my mom, who loves salsa, to ask her a few questions – and she told me stories about how she and her cousins would go to Central Park to watch the Fania Allstars during the early 70’s – I learned that the short, friendly chubby guy that came to my house for Christmas that one year was actually Willie Colon – one of the pioneers of salsa. 

By doing all of that, not only did I come to appreciate Salsa music, I came to absolutely fall in love with it. 

Now I listen to salsa music all the time. When a great song comes on I’ll instinctively move my body or feel the urge to get up and dance. When any of the Fania Allstars are on, I imagine my mother listening to the same music all those years ago in Central Park- and I feel… bliss.

My point here is that – I ‘wanted’ to love salsa, because I saw it as a beautiful vehicle for me to express myself through movement – and when I started ‘failing’,  instead of looking to the external – I went ‘internal’ first, and there I was able to figure out and discover what I had ought to do to succeed. 

Now imagine if we considered every one of our challenges or goals with an ‘internal first’ mindset. 

If we’re trying to develop a habit, we can first use OUR OWN experiences trying to build habits – successes AND failures – before looking externally. 

If we want to start our own business, what sort of observations have we made about previous jobs we’ve had within different types of industries, what made those businesses successful, unsuccessful, and how could we have improved them? 

I started my career as a freelance website designer having never read a book or studied anything about design – I just started by designing template websites and went from there. 

Today I’ve got a thriving business with over 50 employees and thousands of clients – and I’ve never just ‘sat down to read a business book’ although I have occasionally picked up books and read chapters that were relevant to a specific objective I had, like when I hired a team of ISA’s to do outbound calling. 

To date, I have never even so much as clicked onto a YouTube video pertaining to any aspect of how to start or grow a business, although I will occasionally listen to podcasts featuring business people that I respect. 

I’m not saying books and YouTube videos are bad – I just think they’re overrated. Building a business is mostly just common sense – figure out how to solve a problem for someone and then figure out how to solve that problem at scale. Internal-first. 

Recap

This generation is probably the weakest generation because – at least in my opinion – we’ve been programmed to look externally for things that we should first consider internally. 

To reprogram ourselves to take action by default, we should implement these 4 steps

Step 1: Reprogram our understanding of ‘knowledge’

By understanding that information does not equal knowledge. Information only becomes knowledge only once we apply enough to formulate our own critical thoughts about it.

Step 2: Never read more than 1 chapter (or watch more than 1 video)

Apply what we’ve learned to ACTUALLY learn it before consuming anything else.

Step 3: Consume information only when we can ‘quickly’ apply it

Step 4: Never consume any information without thinking about it ourselves first

BE the blade – always – and use information sources only to make ourselves sharper.

Closening

Alright guys – well if you enjoyed the article and can appreciate how hard I work on these, can I ask you to please take a single second out of your day to click the ‘like’ button on the YouTube video? And maybe consider sharing the video with a friend who you know is struggling with taking action? 

In the comments – be honest – let me know how many YouTube videos you consumed mindlessly before you got to this one, or how many you’re going to consume after this one. 

If you enjoy exploring the darker side of personal development and want to read some of my deeper insights, make sure to follow me on Instagram @nelsonquest and sign up for my newsletter at nelsonquest.com

Which is where you can also grab a free download of my incredibly popular  ‘Dark Mode’ productivity system – the exact system that I use to achieve insanely difficult goals by combining philosophy, science, and silence – it’s all about creating the perfect conditions to be able to exist within a state of constant, instinctual action.

And last but not least, if you want to be notified first when I release new videos just like this one, don’t just subscribe but make sure to also click the notification bell, 

Unless of course you’re currently on page 157 of ‘The 5 Second Rule’ and find yourself thinking ‘damn this is a good book’…. For crying out loud have some fucking self respect. 

This is the path.

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I studied 1400 years of NOFAP to learn these 3 things

I studied 1400 years of NOFAP to learn these 3 things

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As I move along the path, the more I come to realize how important history is in truly understanding things… which brings me to NoFap.

NoFap has exploded over the last few years – thanks in great part to YouTubers who have posted 30 day, 90 day, even 5+ year NoFap ‘experiments’ where they mostly claim that retaining their semen has turned them into a demi-god.

Now, as for why most of these demi-gods still appear to be recording videos from their mothers’ basements, I don’t know.

But what I do know is that there are lots of problems with NoFap videos.

As a content creator, there’s a lot of motivation to create ‘NoFap changed my life’ videos because they get tons of clicks.

And as a content consumer, I’m likely to click on any video promising dramatic results from something that can be explained in a single sentence.

And so I repeat: if we want to understand something, we need to look to history to get the full picture!

Because there are hundreds of years of mind-blowing historical perspectives relating to NoFap – more specifically to masturbation, ejaculation, and semen-retention – and how these things influenced our energy, focus, motivation, and overall ability to become better.

Now to save you some time, I’ve poured through thousands of pages of material (despite some of the awkwardness this created)  – and in this video we’re going to take a hard look at what I thought were the three most interesting historical perspectives on NoFap.

Those held by Taoists, Christians, and then later the Europeans during the Age of Enlightenment.

I promise that by the end of this video, you’ll see NoFap not as a ‘miracle technique’, but rather as one of many tools that can be employed within the greater art of ‘sexual transmutation’ – which is something that I’ve personally used at every level of my development to achieve some of my most significant growth.

#1: The Taoist belief that too-frequent masturbation is unhealthy

For those of you who follow the channel, or follow me on Instagram, you know that Eastern Philosophy is my greatest influence.

I think it’s the perfect antidote to the ‘disease’ of chronic overthinking here in the West.

And so it’s no surprise that for them, complex themes like masturbation, ejaculation, and NoFap, all fall into the nice simple box of ‘sexual energy.’

The principal text of Taoism is the ‘Tao te Ching’ – it’s like the bible of Taoism – and while there are no mentions of anything specifically ‘sexually’ related, I’d like to offer my own interpretation:

If we feel the urge to masturbate, and it feels right, then we should do it.

If we feel this urge and it feels wrong or out of balance, and we believe we can use something like NoFap to help restore balance without creating more imbalance, then we should do that.

Again that’s just my interpretation as someone who’s studied the Tao te Ching for the past 8 years and has selected passages tattooed on their body, now let’s dive a little deeper.

Within Taoism, Yin and Yang represent the two mutually dependent energies of all of life.

Yang energy, the Male energy, is characterized as ‘hot’ energy: creative, individualistic, strong, offensive.

Yin Energy, the female energy, is characterized as ‘cold’ energy: receptive, group-oriented, elegant, defensive.

Now here’s the thing, men and women have BOTH yin and yang energy, and according to Taoists, we should aim to balance these energies if we want to live a healthy life.

They saw semen as ‘vital life force’ and believed that too frequent masturbation could lead to a rapid depletion of  this important ‘yang’ energy – thus creating an imbalance with yin energy that would result in premature aging, disease, and fatigue.

For this reason, Taoists created ‘ejaculation formulas’ as a means by which to maintain optimal health.

Sum Sumiao,  who was given the title ‘King of Medicine’ during his time as China’s most highly regarded physician during the Tang dynasty, recommended that men under 50 should only ejactulate twice monthly.

Other Taoists suggested that ejaculation frequency should be in accordance with the seasons:

No more than once every 3 days during the spring, twice a month in summer and fall, and then NOFAP during all of winter.

Mantak Chia, a modern Taoist master whose views have become extremely popular over the last few decades, also believes that we should follow a schedule according to our age.

At around 20 years old, we should masturbate about once every 4 days. At around 30, once every 8 days. At around 40, once every 12 days.

Some of Mantaks most popular teachings include learning how to masturbate and reach orgasm WITHOUT ejaculation by learning how to ‘close the valve’ of the prostate gland by using the power of the mind.

I actually practiced some of these techniques in the weeks leading up to my first fight, where I wanted to have sex didn’t want to ejaculate, and it some of the most pleasureful, erotic sex I’ve ever had.

I haven’t tried this with masturbation, but I’d like to – if you guys are interested in a video on that let me know in the comments below.

#2- The Christian belief that Masturbation Can Be ‘Sexually Immoral’

Ok so before we get into the Christian beliefs surrounding NoFap, I have to say something.

There’s a tendency especially within younger generations, to completely disregard the wisdom of religion, and here’s what I’ll say to that.

Do I think that Adam and Eve was a real story? No.

Do I think that there’s incredible significance in the idea that Adam and Eve, who represent mankind,  broke the one rule that God had given them and ate fruit from the forbidden tree of knowledge of Good and Evil, after the serpent (a metaphorical representation of Evil) convinced them to do so?

And that this knowledge of Good and Evil is precisely the thing that caused them to separate from unconscious identification with the natural world and into a state of ‘self-consciousness’ where they were now subject to uniquely human emotions (such as the  ‘shame’ they felt in realizing their nakedness)  all of which resulted in their expulsion from ‘paradise’ and into the world as we know it, thus marking what effectively became the ‘starting point’ for humanity?

Yes, I think there’s incredible significance there.

The Bible is the oldest book in existence, representing thousands of years of some of the most profound human observations, told through unbelievably insightful stories and myths.

The Christian conceptualization of Masturbation and NoFap is mostly rooted within the concept of ‘sexual immorality’ – which is referenced in many biblic passages.

Ephesians 5:3
“Among you there should not be a good hint of sexual immorality, or of every type or types of impurity.”

Galatians 5:19-21
“Sexual immorality is a work of the flesh and the one who partakes is liable to lack entry into the kingdom of God.”

Thessalonians 3, verse 3-4,
“It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality;  that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable.”

There are many more passages like these, and my interpretation this:

When we become slaves to our sexual impulses to the extent that they cloud our judgement – when we form unhealthy porn addictions – or when we come to see women as purely sexual objects – these are all examples of ‘sexual immorality.’

And I can give you guys virtually endless examples of how acting in ways that are sexually immoral can and will catastrophically decrease the overall quality and fulfillment that we experience in life.

So my interpretation of the bible’s position on NoFap is this:

Masturbation isn’t a ‘sin’, but sexual immorality is. NoFap can be a great tool by which to learn to control sexual immorality, but whether or not masturbation is ‘good’ or ‘bad’ is subjective, not objective.

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is a simple system designed to help you achieve a specific goal by facilitating the development of relevant habits and creating the perfect environment to make failure impossible.

This guide is about actually walking the path. It creates a perfect environment devoid of excuses and forces you to face who you are and what you need to do in a way that’s sustainable.

#3: The Age of Enlightenment and Masturbation as Weakness

In 1760 – Swiss Physician Samuel-Auguste Tissot – wrote “Diseases Caused by Masturbation” – whose views became hugely popular during the European Age of Enlightenment.

Tissot described masturbation as “A general wasting of the animal machine, a debility of all the bodily senses, and of all the faculties of the mind”

He believed that masturbation was the cause all of the diseases of old age, and that “the too great loss of semen produces weakness, debility, immobility, convulsions, emaciation, dryness, pains in the membranes of the brain, impairs the senses, particularly that of sight, gives rise to dorsal consumption, indolence, and to the several diseases connected with them”

As extreme as this sounds, he actually had a lot of supporters.

Among them was one of history’s greatest philosophers: Immanuel Kant, who saw masturbation as “an unnatural use (and so misuse) of one’s sexual attribute” – which he deemed to be a violation of morality to the HIGHEST degree.

He saw it as man using himself merely to “satisfy an animal impulse”, which he considered worse than suicide.

“Murdering oneself requires courage, and in this disposition there is still always room for the respect for the humanity in one’s own person. But unnatural lust, which is complete abandonment of oneself to animal inclination, makes man not only an object of enjoyment but, still further, a thing that is contrary to nature, that is, a loathsome object, and so deprives him of all respect for himself.”

Other later supporters of Tissot’s views included the Americans Sylvester Graham, inventor of Graham Crackers, and John Kellog, inventor of the popular breakfast cereal Corn Flakes – whose bland food products were actually designed with the intention of subduing sexual excitement as a way to prevent masturbation and pre-marital sex.

Conclusion

Taoists believed that semen was vital life force, and thus that masturbation ought to be practiced in moderation and consistent with principles of ‘balance’, often recommending ‘ejaculation formulas’ or ‘masturbation calendars’ to help accomplish this.

Christians believed that ‘sexual immorality’ was a sin, and that we should take great care to not ‘abuse’ our bodies or act in ways that were dishonorable.

Some European Enlightenment thinkers, like Tissot and Kant, believed that masturbation was unnatural (meaning that it went against nature) and that its practice could lead to disease and overall degradation of the ‘human machine.’

What do you guys think seems to be the central historical ‘lesson’ that we can learn from the cultures that came before us? 

 

Why do you think some guys benefit so radically from NoFap, while others seem to function fine without it? What is it that separates them? 

And one final question – do you guys think I practice nofap? If not, how many times a week do you think I spank it?

Guys – if you enjoyed the article – if it made you think a little bit – if you can appreciate how hard myself and my team are working on this – from the bottom of my heart I ask you to please take just a few seconds to click the like button on the YT video –

If you want more content like this, and can summon the mental fortitude to stop furiously masturbating for just a few more seconds, click that subscribe button and the notification bell so you can be notified FIRST when I upload new videos.

If you’re curious to see more of my personal life, where I do discuss a vast number of sexual themes, check me out on Instagram @nelsonquest –

And make sure to check out nelsonquest.com to sign up for my weekly newsletter, and download a free copy of ‘Dark Mode’ – my ‘silence’ based productivity guide.

This is the path.

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My Super Productive Daily Routine (CEO & Athlete)

My Super Productive Daily Routine (CEO & Athlete)

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For those of you that don’t know me, my name is Nelson Quest – I’m a 36 years entrepreneur from the US.

In 2013 I founded real estate technology company that I’ve since grown to over 50 employees –

in 2014 I moved to Colombia donde me aprendí a hablar español con fluidez – improved my salsa level from ‘human tree’ to ‘casanova’ –  am currently working towards climbing the highest mountain in every continent while also trying to win a national title in boxing.

And in my spare time I’m basically trying to give myself a brain aneurysm by spending 30 hours per week  on YouTube videos – where I dive into the darker, more authentic aspects of personal development that nobody else is really talking about.

Funny story – about 3 years ago I had the fastest growing personal development channel in North America until that channel was deleted with no explanation, after uploading more than 100 videos and investing over 100k.

I actually cried – for about 15 minutes – and then I started working on a new channel, which I launched a few months later.

That channel is now the  fastest growing personal development channel in the spanish speaking world.

And so you might be able to tell, given that I’m speaking English right now – the prodigal son has finally returned to making english content… , and in the time that I’ve been gone I’ve made some significant upgrades.

My goal with this video is to introduce or reintroduce you to who I am, through a daily routine that has evolved IMMENSELY over the last 10 years as I’ve worked obsessively to dominate each of my 4 dimensions – physical – occupational – expressive and mental – or what I like to refer to as the P.O.E.M. framework, which I’ll cover in other articles.

Morning

These days I tend to wake up 6am and the first things I do are piss and check my phone.

I have employees working in every time-zone so that over the course of 24 hours my business is always moving forward – and so I like to check to see if anyone is waiting on me for feedback.

I find that blue-light exposure first thing helps me to wake up and maintain healthy circadian rhythms, and to help with that, I put on blue-light glasses as I move through the rest of my routine.

A quick note on my house – everything is automated – I’m obsessed with efficiency and virtually every time-saving investment I can make is worth it to me, even if it only gets me a few extra minutes.

So at certain times throughout the day the curtains go up or down, lights go on and off – the stars turn on after the sun sets – and my bed even tucks me in at night.

My apartment design was heavily inspired by Tony Stark – full tour video coming soon so for the 1% of you that didn’t immediately subscribe when I winked at you a minute ago, make sure to subscribe and turn on notifications.

Ok so after I check my phone, I head to the kitchen and drink a big bottle of celery juice – It’s got some vitamins and helps get me hydrated, but I mostly just take it because it helps me go to the bathroom. I’m getting old.

I also take a single serving of FOCL day – I promise this video will not turn into an infomercial, but with that being said, I’ve been using FOCL products for over a year now and I swear by them – FOCL day kills morning brain fog and helps get me focused for the work that’s coming –

After that I ask my housekeeper Girlesa to help make me my morning drink – which is a caffeine-free probiotic tea that I mix with some keto chocolate, and a a single serving of collagen powder – which is amazing for my skin and joints.

I try to avoid carbs from 6pm until around 10 am the following day and I find this gives me the same benefits as intermittent fasting.

Girlesa works with me every day now – she’s obsessive-compulsive, which is basically a dream disorder to have in a housekeeper –

If every inch of my apartment isn’t completely spotless, she feels like she can’t breathe. I really don’t know how I get so lucky in life.

Girlesa also prepares all of my meals, which are always delicious – as well as fresh cold-pressed vegetable juice – my favorites are carrot and beet juice with a bit of ginger – 

While Girlesa is getting my drink ready I take a quick 2-3 minute shower – start out hot and then slam it over to cold for about a minute to wake up – Then I dry off and it’s time for meditation.

I always start my meditation with some Rapé – which is a type of tobacco that I was introduced to me by a shaman a few years ago –

It’s considered ancient medicine, and has lots of physical and mental benefits.

In my case I find that it it purges my thoughts puts me into a space of calm awareness that’s perfect for meditation – it also clears the fuck out of my sinuses.

Although I have a really nice meditation area – lately I’ve been meditating in my closet so that I simultaneously do my red-light therapy – which improves my energy – makes my skin young and sumptuous, and boosts recovery from workouts.

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I do a 10 minute timed meditation on the Calm app – where every 15 breaths or so I rotate a little bit so that I’m getting light exposure across my entire body.

Meditation increases that little space between the things that happens to me and how I react to them, and most of who I am today is a direct result of constantly working to amplify that space.

Meditation was also my gateway into Taoism, which I consider to be my principal philosophy.

Taoism’s most powerful metaphor is “The River” – at any point, we’re either moving ‘with’ the river or ‘against’ it –

Learning how to move with the river at all times has been an invaluable part of my process.

Now listen – at this point you may think that I’m extremely disciplined, and while I won’t say that you’re mistaken – what I will say is that most of what I do is really… effortless.

To me, ‘difficult’ is… laying on a beach with a pina colada, going out partying, or anything that isn’t moving me closer to my goals.

People love to tell me that I need to be more social. Respectfully, these people have no idea what the fuck they’re talking about.

I don’t go out, have virtually no friends, work entire days, every day – and I’ve never been happier.

I’ve spent most of the last 10 years living a very lonely and isolated life, which sometimes did get pretty difficult, but it was in that solitude where I discovered, and continue to discover, who I really am.

These days,  I am rarely lonely, thanks to my two beautiful ladies.

First is my almost 2 year old boston terrier – her name is Ro, which is short for ‘Rorschach’ because her face reminds me of a Rorschach test.

She’s blind in one eye and everyone thinks she’s a mute because she doesn’t bark, but I love her anyway. She loves me unconditionally

I also have a beautiful, brilliant, intellectually curious girlfriend who supports me in ways that makes me feel like it’s actually OK for me to be me. I’ve never experienced that before.

We don’t have a normal relationship – she understands that I need to work and train every day, even when we hang out on weekends– but when I work, she studies. When I train, she trains with me.

Sometimes – actually a lot of times, I find myself looking at her and wondering if she’s really real.

Anyway, from the moment i wake up I try to be at my desk working within 30 minutes.

From 6:30am to 10am, which is when I’m most creative,  I work exclusively on NelsonQuest.

For my first few years of making videos, I used to absolutely detest writing the scripts – but a scary voice in my head demanded that I keep going,

And I’m glad I listened because at some point I began to experience writing as a boundless artform, and that’s when I became obsessed.

There are few things I enjoy more than getting on my treadmill first thing in the morning and queuing up a beautiful symphonic playlist as I sip on my tea and lose myself within the infinite corridors of my mind.

Hopefully you guys are noticing this passion reflected in my videos, and if you have any questions about writing, let me know in the comments below.

At 10am I have my first 1 hour training session – boxing – which despite my profound predilection for writing,  is my favorite part of the day.

Pre-workout, I have a glass of sanson wine with a spoonful of honey, 1 egg ,and beta alanine – it’s an old boxers’ potion that tastes just as disgusting as it sounds, but it gets me fired up.

During my workout I sip on my patented intra-workout recovery drink –  8oz orange juice, 100 calories of dextrose, 25g of protein, and a few big scoops of greek yogurt – which tastes delicious and helps me recover much faster from intense workouts.

My boxing coach and I have lots of chemistry – We’re both bullies and always try to be as offensive as possible in our interactions.

I laugh hysterically when I’m around him, at least until the warmup is finished. From that point onward it’s all business.

I always work with a training partner so that every combination, every drill, everything I do has the context of an actual fight.

At the end of training we do sparring rounds -which is the part of the day where I most feel alive.

I love developing new movement patterns and then having an opportunity to test them in a scenario where there are dire physical consequences if I make mistakes.

I also fucking love hitting and getting hit – love having to wipe the sweat out of my eyes so that I can see – I even love the way my coach cackles away like a hyena in the background whenever I get cracked with a big shot.

After boxing we all usually head to the pool to swim a little bit,  grab some sun, and then another cold shower before I head back to my apartment where my housekeeper has my breakfast ready –

When I’m done, I go to a cafe to work for at least 4 to 5 hours. From this point of the day onward I focus 100% on my business, AgentFire.

For the past 7 years my cafe order has been the exact same – 1 oatmeal cookie, 2 bottles of water, and a shot of espresso – of which I only take a few sips so I don’t get addicted.

I spend most of my days in meetings and working on big picture stuff, focusing mostly on sales and marketing.

Fun fact: I use the exact same setup, equipment, and team for NelsonQuest to help me make videos for AgentFire.

Afternoon

At around 4pm I head home and it’s time for workout #2 – which is either a workout in my home gym, which I do about 2 times per week to keep my body strong and injury free for boxing.

A salsa class, which is my go-to recovery day workout, or, my personal favorite – the green goblin.

I train on a Trek Madone SL6 with a full Wahoo system that adjusts resistance through the back part, and adjusts the incline through the front part for when I’m going up or down hills –

I always pick a different 60 minute training program using my Zwift app – picking more intense programs based on how I feel.

I only allow myself to play videogames if I’m training on my bike – and I LOVE video games, especially Role playing games – which is kind of a problem because I end up always wanting to train on my bike.

I play on a big 8k TV with bose surround sound and Hue Sync, which syncs all of the lights in the room to the TV and makes me feel like I’m in the game –

So much so that there are times where I’m pushing myself to the max, and I forget that I’m even working out.

After I’m done, I’ll shower again, eat my dinner – and then it’s back to work until 8 or 9 pm.

At home I alternate work between my treadmill, seated – where I have a vibration plate I use frequently, and then sometimes on my sofa using recovery boots –

I think sitting for long periods is horrible for our bodies and as someone who used to suffer from chronic leg pain because of this, I now do everything I can now to keep my blood flowing.

I also do do ALL of my work using the Pomodoro technique – my sweet spot is 50 minute work sessions followed by 10 minute breaks.

Evening

At 9pm I shut everything down, take my FOCL night along with ZMA, which helps me sleep like a baby – and then hit the sauna for as long as I can survive, which is usually about 15 minutes at 120 degrees fahrenheit.

After that I take a very dark shower (for those of you keeping track at home, we’re at 4 showers now).

And then I like to listen to a podcast or a fiction book to wind down while Ro tries to smother me to death with her body.

At 10pm it’s time to go to sleep – and then I do it all over again the following day.

Closening

Hey guys – so that’s my full day… or at least the 10% of it that I was able to cram into this short video –  if you want WAY more detail then make sure to follow me on Instagram @nelonquest.

If you’re wondering why my girlfriend disappeared by the end of the video – we actually broke up… that fucking bitch.

Nah I’m just kidding. She lives in a different city and had to fly home.

Anyway if you have any lingering comments or questions from the video,  let me know in the comments.

Make sure to check Dark Mode – the productivity system that I designed and use to achieve insanely difficult goals – which you can download for free.

This is the path.

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This is why I have incredible luck

This is why I have incredible luck

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Luck is a funny thing. On the surface, it’s a relatively harmless concept, most often associated with leprechauns, four leaf clovers, and finding an onion ring mixed in with your french-fries. 

But try to talk about ‘luck’ and the role that it plays in success with others, and you’re likely to end up in an argument. 

Because some people have good luck and others have bad luck. Some people make their own luck and others believe that luck is completely out of their own hands.

As a successful entrepreneur with beautiful and intelligent wife  – a beautiful albeit somewhat less intelligent dog – and as someone who has reached a point where I basically have no financial worries and at pretty much all times I’m doing cool stuff that I enjoy – 

I think it’s fair to say that I’m a lucky son of a bitch, but how much of a role did ‘luck’ play in my success? How much of a role does it play in the success of others?

For as much as people love to debate these questions, i think what actually matters is this:

There is absolutely an art to maximizing luck – I’m living proof – and it’s precisely the reason why most successful people, if they lost everything and had to start over, would probably find success again. 

This art begins by understanding the 4 different types of luck and how to maximize for each of them – and it ends by integrating this knowledge within one simple zen principle that guarantees luck in virtually every imaginable situation. 

So let’s dive in!

The 4 Different Types of Luck

In his book ‘Chase, Chance, and Creativity’, originally published in 1978 – Dr James Austin divides ‘Luck’ into 4 different categories based on the amount of influence that we have over them.

1. Blind Luck

This first type of luck is the completely serendipitous kind – it’s completely accidental and requires no effort on our part.

This is like when you order take-out and they accidentally give you two of everything, or like when someone robs a bank at gunpoint, murders everyone, and then as they’re fleeing in their getaway car, a crip $5 bill falls out right in front of you and nobody else is around to notice.

Did I mention that blind luck can be good or bad? 

Anyway, this may come as a surprise, but we can actually maximize our luck here – which you’ll understand towards the end of the video where we discuss the zen principle.

2. Luck By Consequence of Action

This is the sort of luck that happens through consistent effort and persistence towards the things we care about.

When we’re running around all day working on different things, engaging with different people, and pulling on lots of different threads, we will naturally create lots of potentially ‘lucky’ opportunities.

5 years ago, my friend and former employee invited me on a short motorcycle trip so that we could get to know each other. 

While riding through the beautiful hills of Colombia, I mentioned to her this idea I had to start a YouTube channel, and that’s where she introduced me to her ex-boyfriend Stalin, who has been working with me ever since (and is the guy who edited the video made with this article).

The whole reason I even live in Colombia is because because EIGHT years ago while making small-talk with someone I wanted to do business with – he helped me realize that, now that i had started my own online business, I was technically ‘location independent’ –

He sent me an invite to join a forum with other location-independent entrepreneurs located all over the world – and that’s how I started traveling through South America, living with different groups of these guys in every country I visited, until I eventually bunkered down in Medellin so that I could focus on growing my business.

To maximize this type of luck, the key is massive action in the direction of new people and opportunities. 

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La Guía Dark Mode

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La guía habla de cómo aplicar teorías al mundo real . Te ayuda a crear un entorno perfecto y sin excusas que te obliga a afrontar quién eres y lo que debes hacer de una manera sostenible.

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3. Luck When Preparation Meets Opportunity

This is the sort of luck that only a select individual can detect, owing to their unique combination of skills and  experience, combined with a unique circumstance.

Dr Austin gives a great example of this with the story of Alexander Fleming – the man who accidentally made one of the most important medical discoveries in human history:  penicillin.

While researching bacteria, he accidentally left a petri dish with bacteria near a window, causing it to become contaminated with mold.

He would have thrown it out, except 6 years earlier, while dealing with a cold, some of his nasal liquids made their way into another bacteria filled petri dish where he noticed that the bacteria around the nasal liquid were dying.

This led him to discover ‘lysozyme’ – and while this discovery wasn’t a massive medical break-through, this experience is what prompted him to investigate the mold-filled petri dish, where he noticed that similarly, the bacteria around the mold was dying.

On further inspection of the mold, which was from the ‘Penicillium’ genus, he discovered that it was some sort of ‘juice’ from this mold which had killed the bacteria.

He gave this ‘mold juice’ a name: penicillin.

So through a complete accident that he was uniquely qualified to identify and capitalize on, he discovered something that has since saved millions of lives – earning him a Nobel prize in Medicine in 1945 and recognition as one of Time Magazine’s most important people of the 20th century.

People who are masters in their craft develop an ability that I like to call ‘seeing in the gray’ – whereby they can see opportunities that nobody else can.

I run a business that sells websites to real estate agents, and I’ve invested thousands of hours towards becoming one of the best. I can now see into the gray.

I’ve also lived through a few global catastrophes, and I’ve noticed that whenever the world descends into chaos, massive short-term opportunities are created.

In 2020 when a global pandemic swept the world,  the real estate market tanked, and real estate agents, now unable to conduct business, were eager to cut expenses.

Most of our competitors lost clients, however I saw a global pandemic as the perfect opportunity for agents to direct their newfound free time towards building a strong digital presence, with a website being the central ‘hub’.

I worked quickly to create webinars, case studies, and aggressive marketing to push the value in this approach, and it was the biggest home-run we ever hit.

While our competitors were suffering, we nearly doubled in size, and the investments our clients made paid off big as soon as they were able to start selling real estate again.

I was the right person, with the right amount of experience, at the right time, who took the right actions.

To maximize the type of luck, the key is to get exceptionally good at something while also simultaneously accumulating life experience – then, when you identify an opportunity, you’ll feel it in your gut, and you must act on it.

4. Luck by Creating Invisible Doors

This is the sort of luck that finds us because of who we are and the sort of reputation we’ve cultivated for ourselves, and it’s the literal embodiment of the famous quote “if you build it, they will come.”

A great example of this are popular YouTube channels. The bigger a YouTube channel gets, and the more authority it commands in a particular space or niche, the more that people and businesses seek them out to present them with opportunities.

As my channel has grown in popularity, I get all sorts of offers – product promotion, new businesses, offers to work for me.

Many years ago when my first channel was taking off, I had a guy from Dubai offer me $100k to get his YouTube channel to 100k subscribers.

I declined this offer because promoting vanity as happiness doesn’t align with my own values, but it was still super cool to get an offer like that out of the blue.

I’ve actually hired and worked with lots of fans of my channel – some of you guys may remember the story of Rafael, who flew from Germany to Medellin to deliver a book he had written for me using my content – he ended up working for my company in sales and he was fantastic.

Federico, who has a really popular film reviews channel, was another fan who reached out to me pretty recently, and he’s now in charge of everything from video ideas, to my social media, to our newsletter.

To maximize this type of luck, the key is to get exceptionally good at something, and then build a strong reputation around it.

The Zen Principle of ‘Good Luck’ In Every Circumstance

The illustrate this principle, I’d like to share the following story from Alan Watts:

Once upon a time, there was a Chinese farmer who lost a horse. All the neighbors came around that evening and said “that’s too bad” and the farmer replied: Maybe.

The next day the horse came back with 7 wild horses. Alll the neighbors came around again and said “that’s great” and the farmer said “maybe.”

The next day his son was attempting to tame one of the wild horses and was thrown and broke his leg, and all the neighbors came around and said “well that’s too bad” and the farmer said “maybe.”

The next day army recruiters came around looking for young people, and they rejected the farmer’s son because of his broken leg. All the neighbors came around and said “well isn’t that wonderful?”, and the farmer said “maybe.”

“It is really impossible to tell whether anything that happens in it is good or bad, because you never know what will be the consequences of a misfortune, or you never know what will be the consequences of good fortune.” –  Alan Watts

Summary

The four types of luck are:

  1. Blind luck, which is completely accidental. 
  2. Luck by Consequence of action, which happens as we consistently apply action towards things we believe will move us forward
  3. Luck When Preparation Meets Opportunity, whereby the right person, with the right opportunity, is able to capitalize on a unique opportunity

And then finally:

  1. Luck by Creating invisible doors, whereby we get lucky because of the public reputation we’ve developed 

Conclusion

I’ve gotten ‘unlucky’ thousands of times, over and over and over again, and at least to-date, there is not a single one of those unlucky scenarios that hasn’t ended up being a blessing.

Friends I’ve lost, people who have betrayed my trust, relationships that have failed, non-stop health issues and injuries, huge business losses & legal issues –

I’ve learned from and grown every single one of them. And while Alan watts observed that we never know what consequences will be of bad luck or good luck.

What I’ve observed is that we can interpret every type of ‘luck’ as good luck by committing ourselves to grow and evolve as a consequence to every single thing that happens to us.

I’m one of the luckiest people in the world because every single thing that happens to me results in something better. Always.

Alright guys – so if you’re feeling lucky that you clicked onto this article today, can you return the favor and give the video a like?

In the comments, I’d most like to hear from people who are already able to see themselves as ‘lucky’ in every circumstance, and what sort of effect that’s had on your life.

To see how lucky I am in real life, follow me on Instagram @nelsonquest.

Check out nelsonquest.com to sign up for our weekly newsletter and to grab a free copy of ‘Dark Mode’ – my isolation based productivity system.

Unless, of course… you’re one of those people who spends most of their day in comment sections complaining about how everyone more successful than them got lucky.

Of all the reasons that I am lucky, I think I am most lucky to no longer see the world that way.

This is the path.

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10 Ways We Turn Off Women Without Knowing It

10 Ways We Turn Off Women Without Knowing It

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Listen – every man has probably at some point in their life, stumbled upon a ‘top 10 list of things that turn women off’ – usually in a magazine, blog post, or buzzfeed article.

And those are fun… but if you want to REALLY know what makes women lose interest in men…. you have to go to Reddit. 

And as fate would have it, the other day while browsing r/AskWomen (as I do most Sunday mornings) I stumbled across a thread titled “Ladies, what made you lose interest in your crush and why?” 

What I discovered was fascinating… revolutionary even.  And I knew at that moment that I had to share it with you guys. 

So without further adieu, here are the top 10 things that make women lose interest in men, according to Reddit! 

Let’s start from the bottom and work our way to #1. 

Lo que descubrí fue fascinante… incluso revolucionario. Y supe en ese momento que tenía que compartirlo con ustedes.

Entonces, sin más preámbulos, ¡Aquí están las 10 cosas principales que hacen que las mujeres pierdan interés en los hombres, según Reddit!

Comencemos desde abajo y avancemos hasta el n. ° 1.

10. Instagram is a Red Flag

Among all of the social platforms, Instagram is unique in that we tend to follow accounts that are consistent with the themes that most interest us – whether that be memes, philosophers, UFC fighters… or bubble butts. 

Spanish philosopher Jose Ortega Gasset once famously remarked “Tell me what you pay attention to and I’ll tell you who you are”, and so when a guy’s Instagram is loaded with models and Onlyfans girls, it’s a pretty good indication that his interests are skewed more toward ‘sexual’ and less towards ‘intellectual’’ -which is a  MAJOR red flag for a quality woman. 

Now you have to be careful here because the solution isn’t simply to not follow these accounts… because that doesn’t solve the root problem. 

As Carl Jung points out “What you deny you submit. What you accept transforms you.”

Accept that you’re sexually attracted to these sorts of things – we all are –  understand the positive and negative implications of all of this, and then use this information to CHOOSE the accounts you WANT to follow.

9. Poor Hygiene & Messy

There’s nothing more repulsive to a woman than poor hygiene – smelly breath, stinky armpits… and if you combine that with a messy car or dirty room… 

In the case of hygiene, most guys who suffer from bad hygiene, do so because they’re unaware of it. 

However, every morning and sometimes in the afternoon especially if you’ve sweat in any way – invest in a good underarm deodorant, ideally a magnesium deodorant which is long-lasting and chemical free – brush your teeth 2-3x a day, paying special attention to your tongue – invest in a high quality cologne, and change your shirt every day, jeans once every 1 or 2 days. 

As for your environment, just remember that messy out here usually means messy up here.

8. Too Into Sports

So there are three really interesting elements at play here. 

The first is that in general, women are less into sports than men – the studies that show this generally highlight gender differences from an evolutionary biology perspective. 

The second, and this should be obvious, has to do with common interests. If one person in the relationship has an ‘extreme’ interest in something that the other person has absolutely no interest in, or worse, an aversion to, then of course that can lead to compatibility issues. 

But the third, and perhaps most interesting element, is that most guys who are overly into sports, tend to be complete losers.   

Someone whose life and general mood revolve around something external and completely uncontrollable (as is the case with any sports team) – probably doesn’t have much going on in their own life.

7. Idolizes Other Men

The first is that women want a man, not a child.

Generally speaking, a ‘manchild’ is someone who is unreliable, reacts poorly to criticism, behaves like a frat boy, always gives excuses instead of owning up to mistakes, unorganized, constant financial problems, etc etc.

So if you possess some or all of these qualities, AND you worship a man to the extent that you outsource all of your beliefs and thoughts to them… well you can understand how this can be perceived by women as unattractive, childish behavior. 

On the other hand, if you have strong models, male or female, who positively influence you without directly substituting your own evolving thought processes and philosophical positions… from what I can tell that’s not only fine, it’s healthy and attractive.

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6. Negging

So this is among the more infamous pick-up techniques – and while I can’t deny that it does work, it’s a pathetic strategy normally employed by low quality men.

The term “Negging” was coined by Erik von Markovik, a controversial seduction guru very similar to the character Tom Cruise played in the 1999 film “Magnolia.”

Erik defined ”Negging” as “a negative comment, made with subtlety, that lowers the guard of a target and leads them to question their own value, thus increasing your relative value”

In other words, it’s when you subtly disqualify the other person while making it seem like you’re praising them. Examples include: 

“Nice nails. Are they real? No? Oh, they look nice anyway.’”

“I don’t normally date chubby girls, but you carry it well.” 

And my favorite:

“All your guy friends are only friends with you because want to have sex with you. Not me though, not that you’re unattractive, it’s just that I’m not that into you.”

If you’re after a quality girl, instead of trying to lower their quality, I’ve found it to be a much better investment of time to focus on increasing your own quality.

5. Bad Eating Habits

Imagine taking a shit directly in front of a woman you’re on a date with.

Now while I won’t say that it’s the same thing as chewing with your mouth open, I will say that they’re both things that nobody wants to see.

Both sexes have what’s called ‘proper etiquette’ – which for men and women include chewing with your mouth closed – bonus points for not holding your fork like a 3 year old, and knowing to place a napkin on your lap at fancier restaurants. 

.

4. Poor Grammar

In a 2016 Match.com of over 5,500 single Americans – 39% indicated that ‘grammar’ was even more important than how their crush smiled or dressed!

In a more recent survey, the dating site ‘Zoosk’ found that ⅔ of women would not date a guy with poor grammar!

Not only does it directly correlate with low intelligence – but from my experience – a guy who hasn’t made the effort to learn how to distinguish between their, there, and they’re – is unlikely to make the effort to improve in other areas. 

3. Bad Kisser

According to Susan Hughes, a psychologist from Albright College in Pennsylvania, ““Women tend to use kissing to create a bond with their partners and to assess them as potential mates… meanwhile, men use kissing as a means to an end”… that end being sex of course.

In a study that Hughes conducted which included 1000 males and females, women overwhelmingly indicated that a ‘bad-kiss’ was a deal breaker, whereas for men, it wasn’t.

Additionally the study observed that men liked significantly wetter kisses, which psychologists hypothesize is because males  “perceive a greater wetness or salivary exchange during a kissing as an index of the female’s sexual arousal/receptivity, similar to the act of sexual intercourse.”

In summary, when it comes to kissing, rather than going in on a woman like one of those sandworms from Dune, try to treat it like a dance.

If she’s kissing slowly, kiss slowly. If she’s trying to pick food out of your stomach with her tongue, then yeah you can be more aggressive.

2. Hot & Cold

So this is actually one of those things that both sexes struggle a bit with understanding, and it’s actually really simple.

If a guy is hot & cold with a girl, he’s just not that into her. He’s probably ‘hot’ when he’s horny, lonely, or bored – and he becomes cold again shortly after he’s satisfied whatever need he was looking to fulfill with the woman.

And guys, if you’re being hot & cold with a girl, you’re not into her… so grow up.

1. Being Boring

So this was the the #1 reason that women lost interest in their crush, and rather on focusing on why this happens (which I’d probably need an entire video to explain) let’s just focus on the solution, which is actually pretty simple.

BE an interesting guy.

Take risks… MASSIVE risks. Constantly expose yourself to uncomfortable situations that force you to grow. Build a successful business or strive to reach a high level in your chosen profession. Commit to the development of a particular skill or skills, and aim to reach the highest levels. Travel deep inside yourself to discover hidden truths.

Conclusion

Alright guys – this was a really fun article for me – if you guys enjoyed it and you can how hard we’re working on these videos – please take just a few seconds to give the video a like, it really helps the channel a lot.

Also, in the comments below, let me know which one of these 10 turn-offs that you’ve been guilty of. . I promise that the more honest you are, the bigger your smile will be when you click the comment button.

If you guys want more insights into my personal life, I’m a pretty open guy – make sure to follow me on Instagram @nelsonquest – AND head over to nelsonquest.com to grab my ‘Dark Mode’ productivity system and sign up for my newsletter, which we’re now putting out once a week and getting a huge positive response from.

And last but not least, don’t just subscribe, but make sure to click the damn notification bell if you want to be notified FIRST when I release new videos, unless of course, you are a boring, dirty, uneducated, sports-fiend Instagram addict…

In which case… you should actually subscribe and click the notification bell.

This is the path.

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The Matrix Is Real: How ‘Reality’ Consumes Us

The Matrix Is Real: How ‘Reality’ Consumes Us

Table of Contents

MORPHEUS: The Matrix is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work … when you go to church … when you pay your taxes. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.

NEO: What truth?

MORPHEUS: That you are a slave, Neo. Like everyone else, you were born into bondage. Born into a prison that you cannot smell or taste or touch. A prison for your mind.

The film “The Matrix”, humanity believes itself to exist within a ‘real’ world – but it actually exists within a simulated reality, otherwise referred to as ‘the matrix’, which was designed by intelligent, self-aware machines to keep mankind asleep while it uses their bodies for energy. 

The Matrix is a fictional movie – but after spending the last decade deeply exploring its numerous themes and philosophical inspirations, I would argue that it’s actually a more accurate representation of reality than the reality that we perceive. 

Because we live during a time where virtually everything that we perceive as ‘real’ is merely an imitation of the real, and in this article I’ll show you step by step how we’re living in a simulation, and perhaps most importantly, what we can do about it. 

Let’s begin. 

1. Reality as we know it, is an anti-nature simulation

Neo: This isn’t real.

Morpheus : What is real? How do you define 'real'? If you're talking about what you can feel, what you can smell, what you can taste and see, then 'real' is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain.

 

When explaining this concept to others, I’ve found that the easiest way is to start by understanding the following. 

Nature is the true reality. Everything that is is not nature, i.e. everything created by man, is essentially two things:

  1. Everything created by man increasingly exists as a more believable simulation of the ‘real’ thing that it’s replacing. 

Processed food is an increasingly believable simulation of real food.  Pornography is an  increasingly believable simulation of real sexual intimacy. Video games are an increasingly believable simulation of real games… 

Digital social networks are an  increasingly believable simulation of real social networks, where the ‘real’ people we think we’re observing and interacting with, are merely the projected “residual self-image” of those people – we see only what they show us, which tends to be stuff that confirms who they believe or desire themselves to be. 

Even the universe itself is now being simulated in the form of a metaverse.

  1. Everything created by man is moves us further away from nature.. further away from reality

Technology moves us away from nature… this much is pretty obvious… but what’s less obvious is how removed we are from nature even when we believe ourselves to be in nature! 

When we’re outside, our physical bodies are usually at least 3 layers removed from the actual ground – those 3 layers being the pavement, our shoes, and then our socks. 

And when are we even really outside? Usually for brief moments as we move from one ‘inside’ to another:

To schools where we learn about everything except how to know ourselves. 

To work, where we generally have to do something we don’t want to do, to be able to buy things we don’t need, to impress people we don’t care about. 

To gyms, where we simulate running on human hamster wheels, to burn off calories from foods we shouldn’t have eaten, to pursue the appearance of health (which is much more important to us than health itself)

Or to where we live – which in my case is a moderately sized box 30 floors above the ground… which is still not quite high enough to escape the pollution and noise generated below, and where what little light that enters does so through polarized glass.

NATURE is real. EVERYTHING ELSE, is a simulation. And as time goes on, reality as we know it is increasingly removed from nature, and increasingly constituted by ‘everything else.’

2. The simulation helps us to escape death

Agent Smith: You hear that, Mr. Anderson? That's the sound of inevitability, that's the sound of your death! Goodbye, Mr. Anderson.

Neo: My name … Is Neo!

 

All creatures are destined to die –  however human beings, the only creature capable of seeing into the future, are subsequently the only creature capable of contemplating the inevitable death that awaits them. 

Ernest Becker, an American cultural anthropologist and author “The Denial of Death” (which is in my top 5 books), believed that if we were to truly grasp the significance of the inevitability of death, that we’d be paralyzed by anxiety. 

And so to lessen our fear of death, he posits that we try to “…overcome it by denying in some way that it is the final destiny of man” (Ernest Becker, The Denial of Death). 

In the modern age, the primary way through which we’re able to ‘deny’ death, is by moving further away from nature by moving further into the simulation. 

Let me try to explain all of this in a way that most of you will be able to relate to:

You know that uncomfortable feeling we sometimes feel when it’s night-time, or when we’re all alone? 

In a broad sense, we probably experience this feeling as generalized anxiety, and as soon as we feel it, we probably reach for your phone or look for some other way to distract ourselves from it. 

However, if we allow this feeling to go beyond the anxiety layer, we may begin to experience this feeling as the uncomfortable sensation that we’re behind in life, or perhaps that wasting our life altogether. 

At this point, we’ll almost certainly reach for our phone or find some way to distract ourselves… but what would happen if we did the opposite? 

If, instead of running from this feeling, we actually welcomed it into our consciousness…  with a warm smile and a glass of milk. 

What we’d come to realize is that this feeling, at its absolute root, is that which we most wish to deny – the knowledge that we are destined to die. 

The simulation understands this, and so while many see these various manifestations of the simulation – social media, netflix, video games, as means by which we can ‘improve’ life, and make it more enjoyable –  they’re moreso a means by which we can escape the reality of death. 

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3. Who controls the simulation?

Merovingian: “It is, of course, the way of all things. You see, there is only one constant, one universal, it is the only real truth: causality. Action – reaction; cause – and effect.”

Morpheus: “Everything begins with choice.”

Merovingian: “No. Wrong. Choice is an illusion, created between those with power, and those without. (…) This is the nature of the universe. ”

So who ‘controls’ the simulation? 

At a low level, it’s the media, which generally exists to both reinforce and perpetuate both existing and evolving paradigms of the simulation

At a mid-level, it’s the government, which establishes and reinforces the explicit ‘rules’ of the simulation. 

At a high level,  it’s companies and corporations, who create ‘everything that is not nature’, i.e. the material substance of the simulation

At the highest level, it’s an increasingly smaller group of individuals, who exercise increasingly greater control over corporations, government, and media. 

Within the simulation, control is power – and to acquire more power, at the highest levels, is to perpetuate the simulation to the extent that for normal humans who don’t have power, choice becomes an illusion, because their future is already being decided for them.

4. The Simulation is a complex system of control

Morpheus: The Matrix is a system, Neo. That system is our enemy. But when you're inside, you look around, what do you see? Businessmen, teachers, lawyers, carpenters. The very minds of the people we are trying to save. But until we do, these people are still a part of that system and that makes them our enemy. You have to understand, most of these people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured, so hopelessly dependent on the system, that they will fight to protect it. To put it simply, the simulation IS 'the world that has been pulled over our eyes to blind us from the truth that we are it’s slaves.'

 

We agree to participate in, and obey the simulation, and in return we are granted the means by which we can either mitigate, or fully retreat from the horrifying reality of nature itself, where the inevitability of death lays in wait. 

This is how people come to fervently support a particular political candidate without being able to name a single one of their policies, or how they can come to label someone as ‘ignorant’ or ‘dangerous’ without ever having authentically engaged with that person’s ideas 

Nietzsche referred to this as ‘herd mentality’ – which he defined as “the tendency for people’s behavior or beliefs to conform to those of the group to which they belong.”

The simulation is what creates these groups, and broadly speaking, this is how so many of us can come to feel tremendous confidence and authority in relation to something that we know absolutely nothing about. 

Summary

Alright guys, so a quick recap before we get to the conclusion, where I’ll discuss how, despite how gloomy this all might seem, there are actually lots of reasons to be hopeful. 

1. Reality Is an Anti-Nature Simulation

Simulations like processed food, porn, video games, and social media increasingly exist as simulations of real things, and increasingly move us further away from the true reality of nature.

2. The simulation helps us to escape death

By providing us with numerous means through which we can ‘distract’ ourselves from the inevitability of it.

3. The simulation is controlled

By media, governments, corporations, and more specifically – an increasingly smaller number of individuals who are gaining an increasing amount of control, and thus power, over those 3 things.

4. The Simulation is a complex system of control

That most people are so hopelessly dependent on that they will fight to protect it despite having no real knowledge of what they’re fighting to protect.

The Good news

Ok so here’s the good news… and perhaps a glimmer of hope. 

If you pay attention, you’ll notice that there’s actually a massive battle taking place. 

That small group of people with an increasing amount of power are actually fighting within themselves, trying to wrest power away at the highest of levels, and in the process they’re making themselves more vulnerable than ever before. 

As a result, our distrust of media and governments and corporations is at an all time high. 

Alternatives are not only emerging, but they’re being rapidly elevated by a growing number of people who are ‘waking up’ from the dream of the simulation. 

These include more authentic information sources  -we can see many of them here YouTube or in places like Substack and Reddit. 

Individuals who speak to fundamental human truths are being elevated faster than the simulation can find ways to brand them as dangerous heretics. 

And blockchain technology is here – initially what we’re seeing is the potential of a universal currency that could eventually replace the entire financial system of the simulation – but long term, blockchain tech could eventually lead to viable, deregulated content platforms where we don’t have to worry about being manipulated, censored, or exiled, for ideas that run counter to those the system wishes to promote. 

The delicate ‘illusion of control’ employed by the simulation is starting to crack, and we’re seeing through the cracks and into the potential of a future where power is wrested away from that small group, and redistributed back to the masses. 

But who knows where this will all truly end up… what I do know is that it’s more important than ever for people to  free themselves from the invisible shackles of the simulation to be able to gaze into the abyss of reality with ever-increasing clarity. 

To do this, I have one major recommendation: learn to look death squarely in the face. That’s where our true freedom is hidden. I believe that’s where all power truly begins. 

Conclusion

I hope you guys can appreciate how hard I’m working on these and ONLY if you feel that way, I ask you to please just take a few seconds to give the video a like. 

And when you’re done, please comment below with your thoughts on the video – agreements, disagreements, whatever you’d like. I’m going to use your comments as an opportunity to go much deeper. 

Make sure to follow me on instagram @nelsonquest if you’d like observe  my projected residual self-image

Download ‘Dark Mode’ – a productivity system I designed to create intentional separation from the simulation to be able to achieve incredible things, check out the description below 

And even better – if you want to be exposed to more videos just like this one, don’t just subscribe, but make sure to click the notification bell – 

Unless of course… you believe that you’ll be happier if you don’t understand this stuff. Then again,  That’s what cypher believed, and we well know how he ended up.

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